RENAISSANCE Of iNsAnItY

update

2012-01-21T15:20:00.004+05:00

So i decided that since im home for past 2-1/2 months lets try to get that Xbox up and running again, found out that my 110v power supply is burnt as someone plugged it in directly on 220v, so had to get it changed, then the DVD drive was not working , had to get that fixed as well, and some small updates all in all after spending something around the range of ~$150 and buying some additional games i was now ready to play.

And then i accepted an offer from a place where i start coming Monday, so office from Monday. I wonder what life is trying to tell me....

Ironic

2011-11-28T16:20:00.004+05:00

Its really Ironic, My "wish" to get more time to play was "Granted" by downsizing yet i still do not get time to play with all the job hunting i do all day long.

I would rather not play the game at all i think

correction

2011-10-27T14:35:00.002+05:00

Dear God,

When i said i wish i had more time to play my xbox, i did not mean to be laid-off.

Oh well... too late

time

2011-10-18T10:36:00.004+05:00

so once upon a time there was a small white box, a bit rectangular with roundish crooked edges and a X mark on the front side with wires coming out fro the back. That particular box had given me company in many a nights , be it rainy or hot summer nights. The many hours i spent with the box are beyond count.

Yet with all the closeness once i had with that item, i haven't seen a glimpse of it once let alone touch it with my had , to feel its warmth , its soft hum , even those dreadful , dreadful red blinking lights on the "X" .

And now that gears of war 3 is out i wish i have time to play my xbox once again :(

dream

2011-08-15T14:51:00.002+05:00

Heard a small whimpering cry the other night , reached over and placed my hand on my daughter, saw she was awake, told her its okay,

"bed per ana hai ? " {do you want to come on the bed ?}

small voice "haan" {yes}

me : "Ajao , Kiya howa ? " {come , what happened }

"Honey Bee a gai thi" {a Honey Bee came}

taking her in my arms : "pir ?" {then}

"keh rahi thi mera hap-pap khana hai" {said it wanted to eat my food}

laying her down so now she is lying on my chest

me : "phir kiya howa ? app ney kiya kaha?" {what happened next ? what did you tell it ? }

" main ney kaha naheen " { I said no} , "phir woh mera hap-pap kha gai" { then it ate all my food}

me : "phir kiya howa ? " {what happened next }

"uss ney kaha Thank you " {it said thank you}

End of dream , and she went back to sleep

Happy Birthday

2011-05-09T10:55:00.001+05:00

and my daughters 2 today already :)

memories

2011-04-28T18:09:00.003+05:00

re-reading "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy , a trilogy in Four parts " once AGAIN

should have known

2011-04-15T16:48:00.004+05:00

of Kids, Dogs and Toys

2011-04-12T12:32:00.012+05:00

Its not easy being a father of a highly hyper energetic almost 2 year old (who reached her terrible Two's few months too early) kid. Lately she has decided to make matters more interesting by cutting down on her sleep just so that she gets up at 6am and does not sleep till 9 or 10 pm.

And when she wakes up, she sits up tilts her head and call me in a very cute soft and music-y flowing voice "baabaa". and repeats till i open my eyes to look at her tilted head, mischievous smile, twinkling eyes and the way she holds her "blanky" in between her hands with her thumb going occasionally in her mouth. Its then when she announces "babaa uth gaey hain".

No matter how much i protest and try to persuade her that she misunderstood my opening my eys and that im very much sleeping still and would not be awake for another couple of hours, she does not believe a word i say and then i am asked to pick her up , put her shoes on and take her outside " outside Jana HAI!!!". If i still refuse to be up, she would hop over her mom and come sit on my chest and start jumping.

Im sure reading the above sounds as cute and adorable as i felt when this happened for the first time , but after a few months its begining to take its toll, and now when she wakes up in the morning i pick her up and put her down the bed with a toy or a book so sometimes she does not bother us for a few more minutes.

Apart from that , she is one hell of an intellegent child , she will be 2 years old next month , she knows majority of nursery rhymes by heart from the age of 1 year 2 months, can sing all of the abc , knows counting from 1 to 10, can recite all 7 days of the week , she can tell you there are 4 seasons and their names , speaks very clearly and has been speaking full sentences since she was 1-1/2 year old, all this and a lot more.

Lately she has started making sad faces and saying " Baba ajj office na jain" , "Babaa ajj gym naheen ". Breaks one's heart !

Currently she is in love with a small 4 legged thingy which brings us to the second point of our titles. Meet "Benji" ,

this is when Benji was a 1 month old Belgium Sheppard. He is now 3 months and a whole lot bigger his "baby fat" is almost gone now an starting to look a bit scary-ish yet he still cries like a small baby when you lock him up in his cage and walk away. All the time i hear my child telling me "Babaa , baby ro raha hai". Now its only on weekends that i see him , but she goes to feed him every day without fail.

And i got myself a new toy as well, finally got around to buying a new DSLR for myself , its been 3 months since i have been a proud owner of a Nikon D7000 , yet i have been unable to actually play with it. The above 2 (plus wife ofcourse) keep me enough busy to not be able to spend time. Plan to spend some this coming weekend when my parents will be here and my kid will be busy commanding her grandparents.

Once upon a time

2011-02-25T12:51:00.004+05:00

There lived a very pious and God fearing man who taught to others around him the way of peace and kindness, the path of righteousness and the road to salvation. He was not a young man nor was he particularly old yet he had a very young son who was just 3 years old.

Now the man was respected in all the town and was known to give the right advise to anyone in need. He had a very big following and on each evening after the prayers he would held sermons in his garden which were attended by young and old from all around the town. In his sermons the wise , pious man would bestow upon the masses useful everyday guidelines on how to lead a life with which God will be pleased.

During his sermons his young son would also be present in his fathers lap and would play around in his childish mischievous ways. The son was apple of his eye and the wise man never refused to let the child from tugging his beard or from throwing the cushions on the floor. All the town also loved the child for the playfulness he would bring during the long sermons. The child , even though just 3 years old, was extremely naughty and intelligent who knew he can get away with most of his pranks and would exploit the love and kindness of his father, but in innocent ways of a child.

One fine evening the pious man had just finished his prayers and the crowd had gathered and was patiently waiting for the sermon to start when the young son suddenly appeared caked in mud and ran towards his father laughing with mischief in his eyes. The pious man quickly get off his prayer mat and tried to gather the child in his arms , the child was too slippery from the mud and was able to wriggle free from his fathers grip and ran towards the prayer area. The pious man once more lunged for the kid and at the same time shouted to his man-servant "Jaldi Janamaz to morr do warna shaitan charr jaey ga" (translation : Hurry fold the prayer mat or the devil will get on it).

After this the man was successfully able to catch his son and took him inside and the sermon was canceled for the day. The only guideline the crowd got from the days sermon was regarding the folding of the mat.

That is the reason that to this very day we still are told to fold the prayer mat whenever we are done praying of the "shaitan" will get on it.

huh ?

2010-11-10T12:33:00.007+05:00

a lot of times nowadays im wondering whatever happened to mE ? i have totally lost all / any interest in my work ( if i ever had any to begin with that is ), still i go home late at night even later than what i used to go when the work load was brutal, my sheesha intake has increased , but alternatively my tv shows viewing has dramatically been cut short, i never did even finish heroes , left it in mid episode last year and never got around to complete it , nor do i feel inclided to doing so. am not in contact with my friends. Its like im slowly fadding away.

i dont remember any day in past 4 or 5 weeks where i have really worked in office , i have done all the tasks required or necesasry to do in the timeframe but the passion or spirit is not there , this is just a thing i need to do and thats it , pays the bills .

i started making a resume which i never completed, one day will get around to do that , started GMAT and even gave it once and had to give it again m, but so far dont feel like picking up the books again and do it. Im just living in right now, right here , no plans no nothing for whats to come.

even starting this post its taken me quite many days to get to this point , i dont feel like finishing it , nor i have any clue as to what would the finished post look like. I guess it would be poetic justice if i just leave it off in mid sentence and not even post it, but lets click this publish post button now before i get bored to even bother doing that....

return fire

2010-08-31T13:24:00.001+05:00

back to office back to war

atlaast

2010-02-18T13:53:00.001+05:00

So like my phone is on its way...

Tracking shipment through DHL online tracker gets soo boring , why does the parcell stay at one checkpoint thatlong

why

2010-02-15T10:59:00.000+05:00

why does it NOT accept my credt card, stufid website, i want my phone

first

2010-01-25T13:10:00.000+05:00

and she broke her first plate in a resturant yesterday. Milestones come in all types

time to spin

2009-12-15T15:38:00.004+05:00

and she is now more than 7 months old, still cant sit nor does she plans to rollover , she is content as she is when laying down facing up or facing down, not bothered to change her position unless she wants to. So let her enjoy the time as much as she wants of doing nothing , for later in life she will have lots and lots to do but for now she can just relax.

its amazing how fast all this time is going away, when i look at her pictures of each month i see the difference in her growth that otherwise i cannot see, i see the growth of hair more than anything else in those pictures if placed side by side. the most innocent expressions i have ever seen and yet in the past few months a light has been illuminated behind her eyes promising that she would be one extremly mischvious kid (as her father was, mother too but intensity level was lower by a mile).

and at times i feel the time is going too fast and i will miss her stage by being in office or working or not paying attention to her and later i will lament all i want but this time would not come back .

i think if i rotate on the ani clockwise very fast i can counter the moving of earth and slow time down, but like if i am the one spinning , how would i benefit from the slowed time ??

resting in pain

2009-09-14T13:34:00.003+06:00

had emergency surgery for non-reducible para umbilical hernia

that after a hectic italian holiday trip, guess wanted to get some rest after all.

noo

2009-07-27T12:27:00.000+06:00

yes

another milestone

2009-05-22T14:13:00.003+06:00

so there has been another milestone in my life. I am a proud father of beautiful baby girl.

Though dealing with Postpartum depression is harder than i had thought earlier. Everything is fine Alhamdilillah.

And it seems as if my work was also waiting for the moment i become a father t go on a tangent from peace towards hell

Anyway, i have been blessed, like i have been given a chance to absolve from all the mistakes i have made in life.

another week start

2009-05-04T13:42:00.002+06:00

why is it so hard to find the books i want to read here in this country, its almost as no one else reads this stuff and im the only one who is looking for them, in stores and old book shops all over the city.

Its at times like these when i have a book with a first part and no third or fourth or then i have the third or fourth but no 1st when i kind of wish i can open up a book store , with a nice coffee shop inside ( wifi and all, no sheesha inside the shop but it can be presented outside or in a separate enclosure ).

For me it would purely be a fiction/sci-fi/ fantasy books only, it would be nice to have everything categorized and arranged in a nice manner . so many of these old book shops lack just this one item otherwise they have such nice collections but one cannot be expected to be able to go through them all to find what one needs.

in another news , yesterday being a sunday , i decided not to pick any work calls, got a call from my manager while i was out doing bbq at pirsohawa in the rain , did not return his call. So far havent heard back from him, this being mid of day monday, which is highly unlike him not to call every 2 or 3 hours if he aint in city.

Well, a bi of slow work today, lets see how the day progresses later

I do hate monday's still

Today

2009-04-30T10:52:00.003+06:00

so like , i know i was suppose to work today, but kinda i am and have worked but still, not feeling upto the mark, There was suppose to be a meeting starting 10:30 in the morning but due to situation in Khi , my manager could not could not fly out form there , yet he is still talking about meeting today later , so i assume he is going to come somewhere on another flight and we still will need to go for a meeting , and i will still need to get this presentation done.

Today, i will work, hopefully

tomorrow

2009-04-29T13:39:00.000+06:00

tomorrow i will work , dil laga key.

Honest

today

2009-04-15T14:10:00.004+06:00

so we are back on Dhaka Standard time, Daylight Saving once more, welcome to the confused next few weeks if not months , there would once again be debates of the ral time vs the fake time and the pathans would once more out rightly refuse to change their clocks and move on Pathan Standard time.

Apart from that, i am feeling extremely lethargic today towards work, i have noooooooooooo mood of working. there is a conference call on going which i am suppose to be giving my ideas to others who are talking for past 30 mins but i dont feel like enlightening them that the topic they are discussing has already been completed by us last week.

in another news, a guy who was from my team, now left to go work in KSA, has risen to standup comedy spotlight , he is now doing shows with Ahmed Ahmed and Jeff Mirza, and he is quite funny from the clip i saw of his performance in Riyadh. Never knew he had the talent when he was in office.

in yet another news, my mind just went blank after attending the 3rd conference call, after that we have yet another call on the financial targets achived to date and forecasted ones, which i am totally not looking forward to. i better close this post and go try to get my mind on work

query

2009-04-13T14:17:00.001+05:00

i dont know what is worse ,

a customer who knows no standards of project management
or
a manager who knows but does not follow them

tacking it back slowly VERY VERY slowly

2009-04-02T23:57:00.006+05:00

so like past few months ive been kinda vanished from my usual life or from my life used to be , aint talking the change in life after marriage, i was / is a big change but still i had some of it going on for me on the old rate.

what im talking about is the work life, its been getting extremely tough the past 2 months specially. Its true the higher up you go the more harder it gets, i remember what i used to think when i was the field engineer traveling for work every day and even some nights and sometimes being in the field for over 2 weeks and thinking , man what an easy life my management has, just check email and make us do all the work.

7 years down the line, well i would gladly go back to not having all the responsibility, provided i get to keep the current salary though. Anyway, so point being now its much much much more to look after, its a whole new thinking hat im wearing and not much of appreciation as compared to the tension and tiredness. Funny how i mention tension, as im one of the guys who is known all around the company as having a completely chilled out relax attitude no matter how much it gets worse. I must admit i have been having a hard time cutting of work from routine life. I used to have such a nice ability to switch off work when i went out of office now things keep floating around in my mind.

Recently ive decided to take my life back from work. Have been catching up on all my tv series slowly. Have been reading the books i wanted to and even went book hunting on all old book shops of Islamabad, visited 8 of them and got around 8 books in total.

So now im going to take my life back from evil clutches of work. slowly ever so slowly

of eyes

2009-03-30T14:56:00.003+05:00

so now i have a limited field of vision. There are semi transparent edges which im sure one gets used to the longer they wear the glasses.
Had been feeling the need to get my eyes tested for a long time turns out i was right. The first time the glasses came i could not see from the right eye it was all blurred , turns out the maker had changed the axis from 75 to 95 , for my benefit im sure. So since yesterday after getting it fixed i can see much clearly. The idea now is to try to get used to having seeing only from the rectanfular frame.

why

2009-03-16T19:20:00.001+05:00

why do the have offical dinners where there is no sheesha ?

feels like

2009-02-24T01:12:00.004+05:00

i like the feels like part of the weather forecast.

Weather is 2 celcius
feels like -3 celcius

the light snow fall with heavy rain was beautiful at 7am from the hotel window.

tomorrow it promises to be 6 celcius only ( with a feels like tag of -6 only ).

a tag from Jummy Bear

2009-02-10T12:17:00.004+05:00

So since I'm waiting for my manager to arrive and we start the long meetings i guess i will do the tag from Jummy Bear or i should name her Meow or somethingy now. Somehow i cant imagine a Bear saying Meow though.

So 16 Random things about myself.

And i have been staring at this for a while now trying to come up with stuff random enough to be random

another 30 mins have passed but to be honest i wasn't looking here, was signing some things so , now lets see if i can crack this

1- A geek at heart. shouldn't come as a surprise to those who know me.

2- Was a destructive child, mostly for my own toys, liked to open them up to see what was inside or how they break when thrown from the roof down to the lawn. ( specially glass things , different heights , different force etc etc ). I found that a round glass when thrown at a certain height at a certain angle will bounce back up half the height of the fall and you have one chance to catch it , if you miss the glass will break.

3- the most important page on a newspaper is the comics one. I would be happy if it was only that page that came each day only.

4- Someday i will create a time suspension technology so i will have time to read / watch / Play things i want. There are books i never get my hands on but they are on the list , there are things i never watched but i want to some day. i Have loads of games i never finished nor will ever finish i think but i buy them still and put them down. Some are those i just played once others never

5- Awkward silences are part of my first (second , third , fourth , .... so on ) meetings with anyone.

6- i am a very casual shopper, i buy things at whim, my wife is thankfully not like me.

7- there is not enough time in the day to sleep all the sleep i need

8- the new office extension i have used to be of the kitchen, the prank i used to play while being in kitchen was i would pick up and claim it was my number, now i have to do that same thing each day number of times without it being a prank.

9- i hate giving presentations. Seems each passing year my responsibilities in presenting more and more stuff is increasing.

10- when im cold i take a shower. my family says i sterilize not shower.

11- Im a theory Y manager whose manager is Theory X.

12- Im trying to keep my desktop free of unwanted clutter, but somehow it keeps on growing till i put them all in a folder and dump them in c:\Desktop Junk, many a times very important files are lost (read misplaced ) that way.

13- i have 36 pairs of socks. 20 blacks. rest shades of brown / blue. And somehow they keep on vanishing and reappearing on their own.

14- i kill shoes in 8 months or less , as in formal shoes

15- i wish i had known some cool math tricks when i was a kid , would have saved loads of time.

16- i love rain, night rain to be exact. The heavier it is , and the colder it is , the better,

so there, 16 random things , i think they are random dont you ?

So next step to tag 16 ppl, lets see, Hemlock you be it, Soaring Angel, Tanzilla, thts the ppl i know who would somehow read this blog still apart from the one who tagged mE in the first place, for the rest if anyone stumbles here , will you be bored enough to tag and leave a comment telling you are done ? lets see if random ppl can be utilized this way.

Or if the random person is not a silent observer ONLY then we would never know would we ?

So be it..........

slow

2009-02-04T11:45:00.003+05:00

its a slow day today, like after soooooooo many months , ever since marrige i have not had a slow day at work , its always one thing or the other going on and today i find myself with not a single thing to work on .

i have to go meet the manager in a while , dont feel like doing it, i watched big bang theory , now i think i might watch the new episode of how i met your mother, now im just passing time moving here and there on some websites ,

my hotmail inbox has huge pile of unread email, it would mostly be forwarded mails or from mailists so next task is to get up to date on that.

Seems strange not to have to study anymroe , past one month i was constantly studying in anytime i got in between work, now there kinda sort of a void present in its place, i need to go to a book store as well to get somethingy to read, i wish borders was here in pakistan.

To top it all of tomorrow i a holiday and i dont have cable at home installed yet. I planned the cable to be there once my exam was over but it kinda got delayed as the fibre guys wanted to dig out the front lawn and since i dont own the house i could not give a go ahead, after a week of bac and forth a mid ground was achived and they have yet to complete there work , they gave me a date of 2 days yesterday and tomorrow is a holiday so i dont think i would be getting any cable till firday.

I would be seting up my xbox today though, or atleast i think i would , i have been buying games to play as in i have all the current titles i would like to play but have yet to ge time to sit down alone to do so. Marrige does limit ones options in ways more than one.

passed

2009-02-02T12:48:00.000+05:00

passed my exam today, big relief

was relatively easy as to what i was expecting

dead as dead can be

2009-01-21T16:09:00.006+05:00

even with wanting to do stuff one dont get to do it , but in my case i dont get to do it because i dont feel like doing things.

I believe i have gone lazier since i got married, as usual closing year and new year constitutes tough working days.

On top of it i Finlay got around my reluctance to study and had gotten a date for my pmp exam, which was supposed to be this coming Monday, so tough working days and then tougher studying after all this time plus i was never one to memorize stuff, thus my history of scoring low in all subjects which require lessons to be memorized and written as is.

So all in all i was progressing at a pace which i believe i would have made it for the exam prep in time when work went on exponential curve and then the home problems started occurring. Not domestic but water and gas and security issues. so we decided to shift home and move.

So in all the late night workings i decided to move my exam another week, so right now its scheduled for 2nd of feb.

We shifted like 3 days ago, Saturday to be precise and the house is slowly coming around. work has gone slow again.

We kidnapped a small young blue parrot from my wife's father who currently sits in a cage in our lounge in front of the radiator. When the radiator is off the poor thing starts shivering. Not adjusting to weather here , supposed to be from some other country. Last 2 days ive been trying to get it used to my hands and it has started eating oranges from my hand and sun flower seeds. Last night it didnt run away from my finger touching it not did it try to snap at it , so i believe we are making good progress.

so to get back to the point where i started this post , being lazy has definitely been my signature quality among siblings since early age but now a days i feel more inclined not to do anythingy. Low motivation on work front has also arise and on personal note , i dont feel like having sheesha anymore either, yes that is a big thingy.

on giving this post another look i see there is not much of a centralized theme to it or a point. So i would end this here now.

i guess what it signifies is that this Blog is not yet truly dead, coma perhaps

(cold and catatonic.......... )

ouch

2008-10-28T11:14:00.005+06:00

So on constant insistence of my wife i finally caved in and agreed to go to the dentist for teeth cleaning.

So this was my first ever visit to the dentist, like in adult life, even as a child i dont recall ever going to the dentist and sitting in the chair , though i have some vampiric teeth, pointy and some uneven, health wise they are fine. Well granted there could be a small need for having them cleaned after 29 years of life but still it would mean breaking the record and going to the dentist.

and was it a looooooooooooong cleaning , and ouch all my gums hurt :( , no clue whats the fuss about but wifes happy so guess thats that. Lets hope dont need to go soon next time as in after next 29 years.

The funny part is , during the time my teeth were being subjected to horrible pain and agony all i could think was of the following strip i read yesterday on xkcd. Sad i know

http://www.xkcd.com/

And this was jsut too darned funny not to share

so like

2008-10-15T17:27:00.005+06:00

its been like a very long absence from the online world, i never thought this was possible for a person to have soo much sudden changes in life in such a short time. Like seriously , married in 2 months from the time its arranged and 1 month after engagement and now its been almost 3 months of marrige.

the worst part is all the weight i re-gained in that time frame, like i lost 6 kgs before marrige in 2 months and i gained 7 in next 3 months, i swear im being spoiled by my in-laws.

there is loads to write , loads to talk about but lately ive been soo much out of touch with my friends thats sometimes i dont know from where to pick up the conversations, married life is Alhamdoilah going very good.

Im still trying to adjust to the whole being married thing, life does indeed change big time, what ever you thought your life was is no more, right now there is no "mE" time , i need to start finding things , hobbies and stuff for both of us to do. So far effected habbits include my being online , playing xbox and similar one per son work. and my sheesha smoking days are dying out rapidly. But its not really just a one sided , she has to adjust to all the routine as well, its equally or more hard for her i believe.

and right now im babbling , cause i dont have anythingy better than do, im sitting in a resort in Oman, with my manager who is updating his slides for tomorrows big presentation to higher management , and im just sitting waiting for him to go through my slides before i present them tomorrow so everyone is in sync. the sad part is there is a perfectly fine swimming pool here with clear blue cold water and i have not been able to go see it even in day light. wifes back home as she couldnt make it so missing her as well, its freaking hot around 34 outside and did i mention i hate these presentations ? twice in each year we have to go present these, once begining to show our this years goals and once at the end so show what we have done and its a utter complete waste of time , and did i mention its hot ?

and like Omani ppl get homesick in Oman, like seriously, today is a weekend here , and tonight all Omani ( any that are left) would pack up and go to the desert to feel more at home , cause the cities have been taken over by desi crowd , the only shops you see owned by Omani are the ones selling perfume, rest everyone is speaking dialets of desi land and you see more wobbling heads that the ones wearing Omani caps , no wonder they head out to desert on weekends and some back on saturday.

i guess i would stop writing herer, as i dont think im making much sense, lets see if i blog again or not , dont feel like blogging most of the time, sometimes there are things you think "huh i shold blog about it " but in the end you always end up "ah naa, dont feel like doing that right now "

and did i say im bored ?

interesting

2008-08-05T12:34:00.000+06:00

http://www.brasstacks.pk/videos.aspx

coming alive

2008-07-25T14:42:00.002+06:00

so like im slowly returning to reality, holidays over , joined office again and i knew it would suck big time especially after a holiday after marrige.

on marrige front , i have this to say so far " Ainda naheen karoonga"

now i go try to read these billion work mails

engaged

2008-05-11T13:05:00.002+05:00

So im engaged. Been 10 days, getting married in June end InshaAllah.

Heres to a new begining.

Mawla ya Sali Wasalam

2008-04-18T17:40:00.002+05:00

freedom

2008-04-12T22:22:00.000+05:00

so like yeaay, finally my apartment is wireless , this darned new access point gave me a tough time and fought 1 day before finally doing what i wanted it to do ,

lost

2008-04-07T23:33:00.002+05:00

for the first time in all my traveling , my luagage didnt arrive

to think someone would have such a black tounge when you do a little effort to meet them on transit , sigh

convos

2008-04-05T03:04:00.002+05:00

so you have pretty interesting conversations in cabs with the cab drivers now and then.

just today we hailed one from a mall to go back to the hotel and he starts with asking how many ppl were there in the mall , we say many and he goes "more than 10? " and im like "err yea "

and then he goes to ask you know arabic or only english we we say, "Urdu" and the response we get is

" Shukriya Shurkiya.. Urdu word Urdu word"

and then after telling us some storis half in arabic half in somethingy resembling english he goes "so you all work as engineers "

to which we were surprised and asked how did he know

his reply was pretty interesting " engineers you see , it shows, "

we go shows how?

"engineers look and talk respective ppl"

go figure

Chapter Two-1/2

2008-04-02T15:13:00.002+05:00

And Pat had his biggest ever adventure ever, as in ever so far in his life.

Pat and Lassie went to the carwash. It was the first ever time for them and they had fun time sitting in the car while automated system washed the car around them

teleport

2008-04-01T23:09:00.002+05:00

i m begining to hate traveling , its seriously hurting mE now

Yesterday left Islamabad at 6pm
Reached Lahore at 10 pm
Met relatives then went out with friends for dinner , left hotel 1am,
reached Airport 2:15am,
Flight delayed by 30 mins, departure Lahore 4am.

Reached Dubai 6:45am local time
In Transit Lounge 7:15am
Flight from Dubai 2pm
delayed by 45 mins, departed 2:45pm
reached Amman 3:45pm local time
Out of immigration 4:50pm
Reached hotel 5:50pm
checked in - 6:25pm

damn, dont like this transit thingy , why cant we teleport

domesticated

2008-03-28T01:08:00.003+05:00

so like i feel like ive been tamed for home use. there are just too many things to do around the house and still it doesn't seem like any progress is being made.

yesterday i finally managed to take out all my clothes out of suit cases , separate winter /summer ones, filled up the wardrobe and then put the suitcases, rather hid them in another cabinet. so now my room kinda looks like a room not a place where a explosion happened in cabinets and drawers which spilled all the clothes on the floor. I never knew i had too many clothes , and like im still wondering how the heck i managed to collect this many socks when i can never find a decent pair but now that i look at all of them it seems i have a hobby of collecting socks, one sock or a pair it doesn't matter, i collected em all.

In another news i broke 3 drill bits while trying to drill holes in the bathroom tiles to hand the shower curtains, now finally the curtains are up and the bathroom floor is less slippery after a shower, its still a mystery how i have survived not slipping till now.

kitchen, now that is one place which dosent seem to end with minor tasks, i have all the jars containing spices and salt and everythingy filled up and placed, powder milk and sugar jars are ok to go. the glasses and cups and plates are now all in their proper places. the fridge is populated enough to survive. and today i cleaned the sills and then i cleaned the stove itself, man that was some task. scrubbing is not too much fun
and like i have a separate viper for the kitchen and two sets of slippers that are solely dedicated for kitchen use ONLY and no other shoes are allowed in there, washing the tiles of the floor is not a fun idea every time someone decides to walk into the kitchen with shoes they were walking around outside in dirt or somethingy. My bro and a friend who visits often thinks im a freak. ( i now have slippers for home use as well and shoe rack is present near the entrance to change your outside shoes as soon as you get inside, btw all three washrooms have their own slippers and vipers too).

one of the book racks is assembled an the other is missing some screws need to buy some so that i can finally unpack the cartons containing the books and put em up. i need to sort out the dvds and put em in their racks as well.

i still have to find myself an electrician to fix all the switches and lights and fans in the apartment. i did what i could and fixed many of those but some of them are too complex for me to handle without getting electrocuted a bit

and seriously if anyone knows someone who does soundproofing of the rooms , i deperately require their services, all the traffic and people start talking yelling early morning and then there is constant noise of contruction crew working right next building who start somethingy like 6am in the morning , and then sometimes at nights the gaurds outside decide to sing , yes really sing.

and i yet i have buy furniture for my bedroom , im still using the sofa-cum-bed , which is so far doing a good job but then that is another thingy on the to do list , along with the air conditioners and moving my old air-con from Lahore and getting it installed here as well , it would be summer in just a blink of an eye.

and the light will be gone in 10 mins, i better finish up here and try to get some sleep before they wake me up early morning again, i swear i soooooooooo cant get up in mornings

movings and settings

2008-03-17T19:30:00.010+05:00

so like , moving and setting up is too much of a headache , there are million little things which need to be corrected, all last week i have washed floors, washed all light shades, scrubbed washrooms, done electric wiring , changed light bulbs, cleaned dishes , so far i havent cooked as the stove has a leak somewhere which i need to find still.

so finally i have got my stuff in the apartment, on monday i took all the stuff from Lahore and by monday night everythingy was dummped. That night at 11am the curtains were tired to be put up, as in an interm solution was found to hand the short ones so that there is some privacy achived, the two rooms were washed and the carpeting was done, by 3am was too tired to do anythingy more so threw the sofa cum bed and slept rather tried to sleep

so the mosquitos and the lights coming form the windows with half covered curtains and the noise from outside all contributed in depriving me a peaceful sleep, next morning was meetings at 9am and then i came back around 6pm and again started working on setting up the place. so next 2 days were spent in either changing lights, washing lights, washing floors, tracing wiring, then buying a fridge and a microwave, installing the tv, putting up all wiring for the sound system and xbox 360, and then finally after 3 nights i was in a position to bring in the sofa sets for the lounge.

so finally now that the lounge has been more or less setup is that the shape or the apartment is coming out nicely , even though alot of boxes are still lying around , i need to assmble the book shelves and then arrange all theb ooks , my bed room is still a mess, need to buy a bedset also, have to take out all clothes and arrange them in the cabinets in the rooms, see to the stove, but stil a milestone has been achived when you can relax and sit and watch the tv at the end of the day.

and the traveling is still not over, if im in Pakistan next week i can hope to accomplish more , btw, Hemlock still dosent like my sofas.

packing

2008-03-10T02:01:00.003+05:00

so here i am , packing all my stuff in llahore to move to isb tomorrow for good.

I never know i had soo many clothes and soo much of little or big junk stuff that i do use now and then, and the books took 2 cartens on their own, mad i need to throw somethingy out soon, but what i dont know

home

2008-03-07T22:41:00.002+05:00

so where is home ? home is where your heart is ? that be body , but you need more thant thaat to live, you need clothes , unless you are a member of "nudist are us ". thus home requires clothes, someplace where you can get clothes from, thus

home is where my suitcase is...............

hectic

2008-03-04T23:56:00.000+05:00

i cant seem to get over the tiredness, and i have a headache

nostalgic

2008-02-23T19:43:00.001+05:00

lets walk

lets walk the walk of the past
lets walk in shadows the sun casts
lets walk by the sea
hand in hand , just you and mE
lets walk in memories of old
of times daunting of times felt gold
lets walk the walk of life
see its edge as sharp as knife
lets walk beyond the clouds
see the worlds inside the dreams
lets walk until we tire
lets walk till sun retires
lets walk by moonlit shores
lets walk in caves unexplored
lets walk

of traveling and resting

2008-02-21T22:17:00.004+05:00

im begining to hate traveling, tonight i was supposed to get back to Pakistan, tomorrow i was gonna pack up and move my stuff from Lahore to Islamabad to the newly rented apartment , yes i finally managed to take one, one that suited mE fine for the time being till i get somethingy better. And then i had been doing the necessary shoping for the apartment, like i got this nice looking sofa set ordered, will be ready by coming saturday, and then i bought carpets, then few kitchen items, i still need to get a fridge and a microwave, so like Ammi was saying keh feels like she is shopping for my Jaheez these days.

so where was i , ah yes, traveling , like after being in Islamabad for 3 weeks in which i had no clothes with me that i had to buy stuff and wear em in meetings like suits and stuff , i finally got a chance to get to Lahore to only be flying out, and now since im not going back and i came here for 1 day only i did not bring loads of clothes with mE, i think i would be buying more clothes again comes tomorrow, so no, i wont be going back, since dubai is too darned full next week thus the meeting that was to happen there starting Monday is now going to be extended here instead and since i cant get a visa for monday if i go back tonight , i have to stay back and wait till the meeting,the worse part, my manager is gonna stay too AND the customer is here too, so i will be meeting them as well over the weekend, its a holiday here tomorrow and we would be working and when it would be holiday back home then again we would be working.

and to top it off i will be here till wednesday now , going back next thursday and then again i have to go dubai on saturday, and next whole week will be spent there.

last night i slept after 38 hours of being awake , well not direct 38 hours , i did dose off for 1 hour on the plane , but that too was with intereptions as the flight was too darn bumpy, fel like someone was shaking the plane all along.

and you cant imagine what the sound of wind is like outside my window right now, i was on 13th floor and all night it went howling soo much that i kept waking up from its noise, and i specifically asked the guy not to send mE to 13th floor when i re-checked and keep me on like 2 or 3 , so im on 2nd floor this time. But right now there seems to be a dust storm outside, and the wind is again howling like anythingy. Though that will not be stopping mE from going out to have dinner and sheesha somewhere with my friends here, might as well go to watch a moive as well, since this is a weekend night here .

i think im starting to have a headache , the moon looked really nice on my way over here to the hotel, i would try to see if i can capture it on my camera

a tag

2008-02-21T22:09:00.002+05:00

so she has been bugging mE to get this tag done even though she hasnt done the one i tagged her for but here goes

OK here goes

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)

Chainfire - Terry Goodkind ( Sword of Truth - Book 9)

2. Open the book to page 123.
..

3. Find the fifth sentence.
..

4. Post the next three sentences.

1- "No need to wispher," he said. "See how the walls turn at all those angles? It cuts the echo."
2- she was little surprised to hear that he was right Usually, the echo in the stone rooms was annoying, but this odd twisting room had a hush of the dead.
3 " There is something strangely familiar about this place"

5. Tag five people.

I tag , Fatimah, No one , Fairy Dust , Tanzilla and Mysh.

breath

2008-02-08T14:12:00.000+05:00

Begin
1- count = 1 ,
2- breath in
3- breath out
4- and then breath in ,
5- increment count ,
6- If count <10
7- Go to 2
8- Else
9- If Temper > 1
10a- Scream
10b- Go to 1
11- Else
12- Smile
Exit

hard rain

2008-02-05T01:25:00.000+05:00

so it rained alot today in isb, and then in the evening , since tomorrow being a local holiday, i and bro started out our journey to home for the night. Since bro drove in the morning coming to isb i took the wheel while he slept this time around.

so i drove in the heavy rain and high wind and i re-fell in love with night rain once more,

right now my i think i have managed to rip my throat from all the shouting i did in the night semi indoor criket we played a while ago, cousins left around 1:30am , and now my legs are hurting

tmorrow is a holiday, lets see if they will let me sleep in peace

lunch

2008-02-04T14:18:00.000+05:00

and today i have no one to go to lunch with me, and i think im hungry now , its 2:20
damn man, i need lunch partners in isb

divine hints

2008-02-01T01:27:00.000+05:00

so like i was just finishing he open pack of Hershey's kisses me and a couple of friends opened while watching the movie. so im here watching tv and just finishing these.

So i pick up sone and it says "Kiss Someone" , next i pick up it says again "Kiss someone " .

The next one i pick said "Good Luck", next one says " Congratulations " and here im thinking , oh i must have already kissed someone that the next one says "Oops" , and i thought , yea now you get it

and the very next one says again " Kiss Someone" , next i pick up two , the first says " Lets Go" second says "Kiss someone " , thus saying " Lets Go kiss someone ".

and next one says " Hi" the next one "Kiss Someone " , and then it repeated for 2 more turns ,

others then were just "Good Day" and " A Big Hug".

Now ive reached the end, there be no more, but i wonder why im being given hints to kiss someone :P ,

chocolate over dose

rush

2008-01-31T14:04:00.000+05:00

life, its passing me by in a rush these days

on work front two new project are coming in the initiation and pre sales phases of those are killing me , on the other side the existing project implementation is also demanding my attention.

and finally im serious about my apartment hunt in isb, all my hotel stay days after my shifting to isb have been spent and tomorrow will be the last day. moving with property dealers these days

need to apply for a visa tomorrow morning, my UK visa had expried and i thought its valid for 08 as well, its a good thingy that this old passport was not attached to the passport which was lost. otherwise i would have lost all my UK and Europe travel history In the other one i just lost quite a bit of history as well, but at least i can be thankful that some was saved.

now , i might be missing out a friends wedding if i get visa in time, my traveling dates colide with his wedding.

now i seriously need to go to lahore and start packing my stuff as well.

Recap

2008-01-25T15:41:00.000+05:00

Weeks Recap. High Level summary

Sunday night:
Sleep at 3am,
Woke up at 6am
Flight to Isb at 8am

Monday night:
Sleep at 2am ,
Woke up at 6am,
Flight to Khi at 8am

Tuesday night:
Flight at 10:30pm to Dubai
Reached hotel 4am ,
Woke up 8:20 am, meeting at 8:30, reaching at 9

Wednesday night:
Watched "The Golden Compass with Friends", Movie ended 2am
Sleep at 3am, woke up at 9am, meeting at 9:30

Thursday night:
Flight at 1am
Reached Khi at 4:30 am
Out of Immigration and Baggage claim , 5;30 am,
Flight to Lahore , 8am. Check-in at 6am,

Friday Morning:
Reached Lahore at 10:10am
Reached Home 11:15am
Juma prayers 1:30pm
Lunch with friends , 2pm
In office 3:15pm

I soo am gonna run away and go home and sleep

achivement

2008-01-15T23:36:00.000+05:00

so like, the gas problem seems solved, i have my geezer and heater both working simlutaniously, but i think someone dont likes mE that much, ever since the heater got working 2 days ago there have been water problems at home , first the pump got burned and now water pressure is not that much upstairs its fine downstairs. Just my luck.

so anyway , my heater is one of those non combustion type which dont have need to exhaust and the fire is burning behind a glass and there is vents up to let the hot air come out.

so the vent goes all the way to the top and the hot air goes up so while yours standing right in front of it you dont get warm you have to like climb up the heater to get the warmth, so last night, i had this brilliant idea, i first tried putting my quilt on the vent and tried to pass all the heat in my bed and soon i kinda smelled the quilt burning. So then i had another brilliant idea , i took this aluminium foil roll and took out a long peace to cover it up, sice the heater was hot i just placed it on the top and i got hot air coming my way, yeay

so like after an hour or so i hear this noise as somethingy fell inside the heater i got up and took the foil out and it was hot to touch, khair got it out of the way and what i see is that the knob on the top which was plastic had melted and te igniter had fallen in, so i took a pliar and turned the melting knob it came off , but i managed to turn the heater off.

in short the achivement being that i managed to melt the heater , today i took the heater from the guest room, now i have to buy a new one, tomorrow perhaps if i go out , today i stayed in home , skipped office , i think im coming down with a flu

in another news , my xbox is fixed and im soon to finished halo 3, then i have 4 other games lined out to play, dont know when i will get the time to play them though.

sync loss

2008-01-10T00:29:00.000+05:00

being back in Lahore waznt much as i imagined it would be. i feel misplaced , out of sync. totally out of working phase, just doing it because i have to, i dont think i have slacked this much in all these past year in my working career, student life was another matter.

im ignoring phone calls in the morning from work or anywhere else and just turn over and try to sleep again or doze off for a couple of more mins, past 2 days ive been going to lunch after waking up, showering and getting ready, then to a coffee shop and after that around 4 , 4:30 i grace office with my presence. even if my manager calls me in the morning i dont pick it up and after like 30 mins or so i check emails through my phone to see if its anythingy important and then i call him back. This phone is useful in this capacity that it allows me to check my work mails.

and after im in office , i reply to few mails i deem requiring immediate response or simple response and then i phase out and then i go home when i think it late enough so no one will bother with me when i get home and i would be able to close myself up in my room upstairs.

finally managed to knock some sense into my geezer to stay working , had a to tweak alot of things in the thermostat and put up extra protection so that wind dont blow out the pilot. Thanks to gas-shedding i had to choose between warm water or warm room, figured i can always sleep with the socks on to keep the feet warm, thus warm water it is. This geezer is dedicated to my washroom only, everyone says i dont take a bath but i sterilize , i even need hot water in summers to take a bath in.

my hair are still refusing to rise up to the occasion no matter how much hair gel i apply they just remain as they are tiny half inch pointy things. or perhaps they are nearing an inch now cant say for sure how much they grow in 5 days, i just hope they would be somethingy better soon.

its been raining in all over the country but sadly there was no rain in Lahore today, i rather like the cold drizzle going on and on, thats why i love uk in winters when my cousins over there are cursing the day im enjoying walking in the rain, sadly cant walk here in rain as there is general shortage of footpaths. And somehow i am not feeling like walking in the rain no more, just sitting and watching it is fine for now.

and i swear this headache is there constantly since after the headache, asprins at night are a necessity if i need to place my head down in comfort.

gave my xbox 360 for repair once again yesterday, i havent been able to even play halo 3 and it was launched in september, and like Hemlock gifted me the collectors edition of it. its still packed placed on my bedside table, havent even opened it even though i bugged her to buy it the day it launched.

havent been to bowling yet either, even when there came a time when we used to go almost each day for weeks, dont have that company anymore, dont feel like going there and dont have the company either, 2 of them just got married in last week. One im sure will be needing permission to go to office soon by the way he was dancing on his wifes "requests" at Valima, poor sucker. The other im not sure, have yet to meet the bhabi on a less formal gathering.

this i think should be enough bakwas for now, already longer than any post ive written in a long time.

Here is to life...

Update: After 3 hours of thunder we have rain, and wow what heavy rain it is. i think im going out to catch a cold..

was it

2008-01-07T16:34:00.000+05:00

was it worth it ???

i dont know , cant say yet

mundane words

2008-01-03T13:13:00.000+05:00

so yesterday morning after having breakfast i decided it had been quite sometime that i had been to Lahore and that i should get a hair cut since im not gonna be able to go to my barber anytime soon. So i went to the hotels hair saloon and asked they guy i wanted spikes. The guys looks at me and says are you sure and i said yes get me spikes.
So some 10 mins later i realise the guy does not know what spikes are , and i tried telling him that hold on, for love of God stop. But he went on relentlessly hacking away and when he was finished i was left with a little more than half an inch of hair my head.
And then the guy was then trying to bring them up , as in make them stand and goes " i dont know why they are not standing up, usually the smaller they are the more they stand". And then i litterly had to tell him to stop playing.
In the end he says " dont worry sir, they will grow back in 2 or 3 days". I could only count from 1 to 10 to calmn myself.
Now i think my current headache is due to this haircut. The minute hair are insufficient to keep the cold wind from getting in and thus i have a headache since last evening.
So we played lazer Tag yesterday, there were 16 ppl so it was fun. loads of fun, we took 2 sessions back to back and by the time we were out we were exhausted.
after dinner with cousin and his new wife, then coffee my head was about to explode, took 2 asprins on my way back to hotel and then took and another 2 an hour after to sleep.

Im hungry, havent had no breakfast today, so far no lunch, at 3 i have to take interviews and at 5 is the weekly call. its going to be one hectic day, that is a seperate matter i came to office at 12:45, but still, i think im already tired, its 2pm now.

I soo dont wanna work....

Amen

2007-12-28T04:25:00.000+05:00

May God have mercy on our country........

nothing as it seems

2007-12-17T21:09:00.000+05:00

inutile tidingses

2007-12-13T14:14:00.000+05:00

and they didnt let me sleep in peace all night long, somehow i dropped early to sleep, around 2am, and then the noises started , people talking in the lobby people talking in the corridor , then someone started arguing in the kitchen. around 5am someone in the porch decided to start up the cold car and kept on trying . then the morning breakfast hustle and then 9am my wake up call.

Day before last night, the guy in the room opp mine thought he should start chatting with the night duty person in the lobby. and then he started complaining the radiator in his room was not warm enough. Then he decided to have a breakfast early and gave the order at 3am what he would like at 6. And then in the morning a driver decided to thump his mats clean right outside my window.

Im cursing myself for moving to this room from the basement of the guesthouse. I was better off downstairs where the air was stuffy and had a distinct smell of basements , at least i was able to sleep properly the night.

so today i refused to wake up and said i will sleep in late. sent a message that i wont be able to make it for the meeting and slept , or rather tried to sleep. and then the construction work started, hammering on the room above me, i thought after breakfast there would be a bit quiet in the kitchen but instead it got busier,

on the other hand my search for a place to rent is not going well either, either its too darned expensive or its very bad condition or both at the same time. One place i like is gonna cost me huge, then i think is it worth paying that much or should i just take any place and try to cope, my parents got a shock that i was thinking of paying 40k per month for the place, but since that time every other place i have seen just does not seem to meet even the minimum acceptance criteria i have in my mind.

on yet another front , i have run out of places to eat, there are hardly 5 places worth eating in whole of islamabad, few good dishes, and deserted places. i think no one dines out here in islamabad on weekdays , im not here on weekends to know.

i wanna run away, back to lahore

time ?

2007-12-09T16:51:00.000+05:00

i guess its time to move on. ive been contemplating about changing my job the past few days ,

my 6th year in the same job , never before i have seriously thought about moving because i liked it here, had a good team to support me , was doing new things , getting progress, but now i feel i am being taken for granted. I have decided , no more compromise

It cloudy right now outside , with small drizzle now and then, heaters are on, i like this weather..

its time to move on ...

7 weird facts

2007-11-24T14:17:00.000+05:00

Tagged by Fatimah,

so here are 7 weird facts about mE

1- I love swimming, but large still water bodies scare me ( Lakes, sea , dead sea was also scary)
2- I can eat potato in all other forms but not in Curry ( Salan. )
3- I cannot sleep till i see its 3am. Till then i might try to lay in bed and close my eyes but i wont be able to sleep.
4- I usually sneak in/out of the house. Most of the time other ppl in the house dont know im home, up in my room. One time i spent 7 days in my room sneaking out to get stuff to eat. No one from my home saw me all that time. This phase comes every now and then.
5- I want absolute dark in my room at day time when i sleep in late. Sometimes when i sleep in the morning time , around 6 or 7am , i go to extreme pains to ensure lights does not come in by putting all kinda of sheets , clothes in every crack on doors and windows.
6- I buy things at a whim, gadets mostly. I am usually the first to buy and first to break. If i like somethingy, sooner or later im going to buy it.
7- I have to read before sleeping, there has to be a book with me where ever i go, otherwise i keep ebooks on my laptop or my phone. Even if i read 2 pages before putting it down.

So this being an old tag im not sure who has done it. so Tag everyone on the blogroll who have not done this yet

wings that get mE high

2007-11-18T14:09:00.000+05:00

There was a time when my first helicopter stopped working , everythingy was fine but the battery was finished , so i decided instead getting the new battery i would go and buy a new one. Cause this one had a bit of a unsteady flight and i had seen another model which had two sets of wings and much much stable flight ad a better controller. Thus i shelved the old yellow bug and went in to buy the new one .

Sadly, on the very first flight of the new one, it went out of the reach of the controller and crashed some 3 houses down the lane, at night , i believe it was 11pm. Should have waited for day to coem to try the new one but i was kinda too eager to try it. So by the time i arrived to that house i could hear the helicopter making noise, i had cut the power off from my side so it should not have been on but i could hear its motor screaming. anyway managed to get it back but the internal wiring had come out from some places and some soldering was undone. As i was leaving early morning i put it away for then.

Coming home this weekend , i decided yesterday to try and fix the thingy. The soldering Gun was out of commission and thus i took it to a guy who would solder the wires for me. During the soldering we found out tht the internal chipboard had burned . Anyway i brought it back home put in the battery and tried it. On the tail chopper was working , the two main choppers on the top didnt move at all, That was a sad event. But i decided to kinda to mix and match. Took out the other one and swapped the boards and the controllers.

Now i have managed to make the two wings dude work on the board of the single wing one. When i tried taking it out for a test flight it didnt leave the ground just rotated the wings. Perhaps the battery was low.

So now the battery is being charged. Once that done lets see if this thingy works or not.

Update : Sadly it didnt work, seems another one needs to be bought now. My parents are soo not gonna like it

tell yourself

2007-11-16T14:03:00.000+05:00

youll be the death of me

the one about tag

2007-11-13T12:07:00.000+05:00

1.Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it?
The biggest is have is on my left arm, bicep rather. there are two, left overs from the time i had a full body burn by hot water. I was 4 years old, Ammi had placed a hot boiling water thermos on the top of the cabinet, i was swinging on the cabinet that it toppled and i was burned head to toe. I remember the time clearly though thankfully not the sensation. Next week was spend in the hospital with me covered in sticky cold bandages kinda thingies. Rest all are gone, this one i must have scratched later on

2. What does your phone look like?
like a phone.

3.What is on the walls of your bedroom?

paint.

4. What is your current desktop picture?

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?
no

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
peace

7. What time were you born?
9:30, on 27th Shab of Ramzan. I am such a blessing on the world

8. Last person who made you cry?
When i came home after burying my Nana.

9. What is your favorite perfume/cologne? perfume?
Issey Miyake

10. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?
Purple

11. What are you listening to?
Passive by A Perfect Circle

12. Do you get scared of the dark?
I have a constant fear that someones always there, fear of the dark, fear of the daaaark i have a phobia that somethings always there.............. Iron Maiden

not of the dark, no,

13. Do you like pain killers?
i guess they would be better than pain birthers, i can say i like em

14. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
out where ?

15. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
i should have answered that question before lunch. But double scoop of blueberry icecream would be nice right now.

16. Who was the last person you made mad?
that would be the girl at the counter which was closed and written in arabic. WHen i walked up to her she shouted a few thingies in arabic and wnt back to reading her mag then i told her "err what? i dont knwo arabic". Interesting how complexion goes from white to pink in a sec.

17. Is anyone in love with you?
im a loveable person :D

I tag Hemlock , Falsa

and i tag thee who comments

long week

2007-11-10T00:02:00.000+05:00

so after a long tiring week i would be reaching home finally. Just another 9 hours of travelling left, its 11pm here in Dubai , will be 4am when i get onboard it was 4pm on 9th Nov when i boarded the previous flight in Amman. It will be 9am when i will be standing in migration cue at Lahore on 10th Nov.

And what a tiring week it was , ironically it was spent on a resort , the Movenpick Dead Sea resort , ironic because it was spent working rather than relaxing, and further tiring as me and my colleague as usual went the extra mile to make sure we see all the worth while places while juggling work , which included a 3 hour one drive from dead sea to petra ( one of the new 7 wonders ) 3 hours walking around 20 kms and then 3 hour drive back to make it to team building dinner.

it was a fun tiring trip, if i claim selective amnesia on the painful presentations to senior management , will write more about it when i finally get chance to relax at home and get some long sleep, and few days living away from my manager , i swear i asked the guy at the boarding to make sure i get seats far far away from him during my flight back, if i spend one more hour with him i will have enough work to keep me busy for next 3 weeks non stop, he keeps remembering work to give and things i can do

need to spend some 3 odd hours more now ..........

p.s : i have a pending tag to complete

M.I.A

2007-11-01T10:28:00.000+05:00

so my picture on the new passport looks a bit less retarted as compared to the one on the last.

totally killed in work

sucks

2007-10-25T12:39:00.000+05:00

so like , having your passport lost sucks

and what more sucks is that you didnt do it, a guy in your team misplaced it

and what sucks even more is that its not misplaced, but your locked drawer is also missing a packed cell phone

and what sucks even more is that you will have to pay 8k for urgent loss passport fee

what sucks even more than that is that all you travel history is lost and all valid visas gone

lets see how the stakes are raised by events to come..........

Chapter Two

2007-10-23T18:42:00.000+05:00

It was a quiet night. Electricity was gone for past 30 hours as it was raining and streets were flooded with water. As there was no electricity there was no TV, no radio , in short no noise, it was a quiet night indeed.

Pat sat holding his bat on the mat. He had lost his ball thus the game he was playing was to pretend that the mat was a ship in a flowing river and his bat the oar that he was swiftly using to maneuver his way through the river.

Suddenly there was a short knock on the door, In the complete silence it sounded like thunder.

"Who is it " shouted Pat from his mat., in answer to the question there were a series of knocks of varying durations, two long one short , two short one long, one short , three short , three short , one short two long , four short , three long.

Pat was confused as the knocks sounded to be in Morse code, and the Morse code of the knocks seem to be saying 'Guess who'

"what do you mean guess who, you don't go knocking people's doors and play guess who" , shouted Pat back.

once more the door started vibrating from the various knocking patterns, Pat had to really tune his ears to listen up what was being said this time around. , One long, four short , two short , three short , two short , three short , one long , four short , one short

'This is the ' , wondered Pat, "this is the who ? " he asked aloud.

This time the knocks on the front door said 'Bill'

"Bill" , wondered at aloud to himself , why would the kid from his class who lived 4 blocks away would be coming to his house in this heavy rain.

He got up from the mat and went to open the door. From the peep hole in the door he saw a small figure hunched in the rain and trying to cover his head from the drops, his face was hidden behind the raised arms.

He opened the door and Bill rushed in from the rain and went directly infront of the fire place.
Bill took of the heavy wet rain coat , socks and cap , his Golden hair falling all the way down to the middle of his back along with Pat's mouth with if not hinged to his face would have fallen to the ground .

Bill turned around and shouted angrily , "What took you so long ? i had been pounding like anything for the past 10 minutes" , said Lassie , who wasn't Bill,

Pat's managed to drag his mouth up and stutter " b..bu..but your not Bill !"

"Ofcourse im not Bill what ever in the world gave you that idea? "

"You said it so yourself when i asked who it was "

"said myself ? i could hear nothing but the wet cold rain falling down on me , im SO going to catch a cold now because of you opening the door in a million years "

"but but , You said it was Bill , in your Knocks , through the Morse code "

"Morse Code ? what ever gave you the idea i would know Morse code ? it was freezing outside and when you didn't answer the first two knocks i started pounding till i get an answer. You were suppose to be expecting me i believe, your mom and dad agreed to have me over for the weekend while my parents are out of town remember? "

And then Pat realised that whatever Lassie was saying was true and indeed , who would communicate in Morse code in normal every day life? Lassie was going to be staying over at his house this weekend, and Pat's Grandma was also going to come over, infact his mom and dad would already be coming back from the train station now after picking her up.

"Sorry Lassie , i guess it is my mistake that you got completely drenched"

"Oh never mind that , i have some exciting news for you... " , said Lassie,

Now that Pat looked carefully , he did notice that Lassie was over excited, more than the usual as lassie was almost always running around poking her nose in things.

He wondered what was this exciting news. Little did he know now that this one news will take him to his biggest ever adventure.

start

2007-10-18T01:00:00.000+05:00

so tomorrow i head out to islamabad, and after January of 1998 this is once again i am not just going to visit islamabad for a day or two but now i have to move there to live.

so tomorrow i leave lahore after 6 years. Ever since i started this job , and now i have to move to Islamabad once again. One would think that having lived 5 year during graduation and 8 years in childhood in the twin cities a person would be ok with going to the place. But somehow i aint that much enthusiastic about it, though i have a huge circle of friends over there bigger than ones i have here in lahore.

I have to go and find myself an apartment now, lets see where i end up at but i have my eyes on bahria town, given its gonna take me 40 mins one way drive to office each morning but its a nice quiet place, the other option might be some where in F11 area. The next step will be to moving my stuff and buying some furniture here.

For now , the new responsibilites are going to be enough to keep me busy.

Islamabad here i come , with a flu i might add

Purple Kurta

2007-10-12T01:20:00.000+05:00

so Hemlock dedicated this to mE on my Purple Kurta....

useless updates

2007-10-09T13:17:00.000+05:00

so in another dream in the sleep of 30 mins that i go just before sehri , i received a sms from a friend which said this "You will get all the light that you need by lunch time". i was contemplating on the weirdness of the content that i was waken up by a call from another friend who was making sure i dont miss the sehri.

reaching 5 am in the morning the previous night and getting poor sleep and a long day i was already so exhausted that i decided against me moving out of the bed and go down for sehri, instead i drank all the water i could fill up myself with and decided to force sleep. needless to say the venture was useless

and then my mind driffted to the "you will get all the light.." message and then light went out,, by 11am i decided to stop pretending to sleep and actually reach office as my new manager was under the illusion that i was in office somewhere since 9am or somethingy, cause that the time i was answering hiscalls and all that.

new manager reminds me how screwed i will be in the next 1-1/2 hours, yesterday i was sent in invite for a monthly project review of the new project i undertook last week and i was asked if the slide pack which was sent on 18th sept to the previous guy was ready and that i would be presenting it, after 20 hours im still awaiting few input from finance to complete the presentation, oh i hate project managment.

in another news, islamabad has bad sheesha

weird dream

2007-10-08T05:32:00.001+05:00

usually i dont remember dreams after waking up, its a habit ive developed over the years because some do come true, but today while traveling back to Lahore i managed to get a shut eye which usually dont happen on daewoo ,

so im in office and i visit my manager and while talking to him in his room i kinda get a look at his laptops screen and i see that the webpage is on my blog , and i think like what ?? and pretend to have the normal conversation with him and like he doesn't mention the blog or anythingy, and then i go downstairs and on my way i stop at the lead design architect on the project and this guy is too has a webpage open and its my blog , and i think to myself , damn i need to change my blog address now :P

dont remember anythingy else that might have happened in the dream

pillows

2007-10-03T12:06:00.000+05:00

i like sleeping with 3 fluffy pillows

alarm alarm

2007-10-02T00:59:00.000+05:00

information overload...

anomaly in computing data

brain malfunction

hulk integrity breached

shutdown shutdown

step 1

2007-09-28T14:30:00.000+05:00

So life begins to change , and change drstically, 2 years ago when i moved from my current position into this new project i thought that was a big change, i was taking on a project which was completely new based on a new technology, the worlds first network while my peers had huge experience in project management and my first as PM. My manager had 27 years or experience in this company, while i was not even 27 years of age even. It turned out well , it turned out good enough, it was not a smooth road but we managed.

today i take another step , the first to the truly drastic change in a long long time to happen.

step 1 , im here in isb now, wil be here for a week more for now , would be busy in handing over and taking over of the previous project i was in before this current one 2 years ago, but now i am going to take up place which was then held by my then manager.

so one week to get deep into all the tiny details of the project, injected to my system in a short span of 6 days, and this too including saturday and sunday, im on a so called leave from the other project and have an out of office ("OOO") on my emails for the customer, while i exhaust myself in this new one.

and in the morning i called driver at 7am so i can make it for 8am flight to isb, the dirver thought i am calling him at 8am, missed the flight due to my returned insomniac traits of the old , i cant seem to get any sleep, the only time im sleeping these days is after 5am in most cases by 7, so today i was awake till 7 , and i missed the flight still, came by road then, im sleepy, and hungry for some reason too

i need my sheesha , majlis here i come

farmaish

2007-09-26T16:01:00.000+05:00

ok this goes here on hemlocks "farmaish"

for hemlock

2007-09-25T17:20:00.000+05:00

chasing cars

2007-09-19T13:44:00.000+05:00

if i lay here , if i just lay here

would you lie with me and just forget the world................

Snow Patrol- Chasing Cars

of HDDs

2007-09-17T12:57:00.000+05:00

so a few weeks ago i was having harddisk crisis, my extrnal one got dropped, my laptops harddisk crashed and revived it using spinrite, incredible software that one . so far my laptops harddisk has crashed 3 times , 2 out of 3 were currpted sectors, thanks to spinrite its still working.

So finaly today the replacement harddisk for the lappy is here, now i need to reinstall windows and transfer all the data.

My external harddive would be back after a week more, just hope the data survives the trip.

and they just delivered this 60gb harddisk for my lappy, now i have to install everythingy on it. will do so in an hours time

and then

2007-09-12T15:43:00.000+05:00

and she told me, she loves me in the middle of night and hung up when there was silence from my side.

i kept calling her and could not get through, for hours i dialed and she would not pick up, and finally she did, crying. in the long hours that followed we talked, about what this change would mean for our current relationship, how we would not let this tiny detail matter.

and few weeks later, i told her i loved her, again in the middle of night, sitting across to her. and again there were tears which were shed, late into the night the talk continued. we talked how this would mean change or everything, how hopeless it was for 'us', there was a path we were walking which we could walk for the time till our separate destinations take us away, that path we decided to walk hand in hand for as long as we can.

and the journey was beautiful, it was an existence in now and here, there was no future mentioned only the present lived. there were dreams and hopes but never were spoken aloud.
and the journey was over, there was a crossroad, there was a parting. some pieces inside were shattered, some memories were held closer than life. there was a healing time, in which mending was done, memories were let go. there was a reunion of sorts, the talking terms were reestablished. But there was a heartbeat that skipped on every encounter, nothing was spoken aloud.

and she told me, she loves someone else in the middle of night and hung up when there was silence from my side............

take that

2007-09-10T14:21:00.000+05:00

i did it ,

ouch

2007-09-03T11:49:00.000+05:00

so like, once upon a time there was an 80GB hardisk as my eternal drive, those small portable ones that you carry around in the laptop bag and put junk in whenever you lay your hands on somethingy.
So like few months ago that 80GB started making noises, paid no heed, and then one day finally it stopped responding, there lighted up an alarm in the brain that oh damn, DATA , all that years and years of DATA.
and like that 80GB was rushed to data recovery experts who kinda examined it and informed me that its was beyond repair , although data could be saved by opening it up and going sector by sector and its gonna cost like 15k.
so i decided to say goodbye to that data and went on to buy a new harddisk. decided to go for a branded one this time as to have more "reliability". Compared like a locally made 500GB to a 320GB of Westren Digital, and WD was like 2k more expensive.
The problem is , i have this thingy, that once i like somethingy i end up buying it sooner or later , so 320GB WD it was , with a sleek sesky look to it, 10 months warranty 24 month extended warranty.

so i kinda end up taking this beauty home. 320GB was a lot of space and i managed to just fill up like 60GB in the past one month.

it was a dark night, there was no sun to be found, it was more dark as the tube light was off, and there was an eery glow coming from the screen of the laptop and the harddisk was on the bedside table beside me and then as fate would have it , my cousin knocked it down the table and it crashed on his foot and then to the floor. Oh the horror, the HORROR , THE HORROR

and now the disk has stopped responding, its not being detected and like i called up warranty support and no ones picking up the call, but dropping does not get covered in warranty anyway.

Its a sad sad sad day...........

"we had joy we had fun we had the seasons in the sun................"

huston we have a problem

2007-08-28T12:49:00.000+05:00

[12:37] .: so like huston, can you hear us ?
[12:38] - 1.21: librety, we read you fine
[12:38] - 1.21: tell us, whats up yo?
[12:38] .: huston , the mailbox is overflowing
[12:38] .: its like an invasion
[12:39] - 1.21: liberty, this is a direct order
[12:39] - 1.21: RETREAT!
[12:39] - 1.21: i mean, DELETE
[12:39] .: negative negative
[12:39] - 1.21:
[12:39] - 1.21: lol
[12:39] - 1.21: what doth the mailbox say my child
[12:40] .: master , there is immense energy located in the mesages
[12:40] .: some harbor pure hatred , others are a little upset
[12:40] .: but majority has frustration of not getting any feedback
[12:41] - 1.21: LOL

tense nights

2007-08-23T12:29:00.000+05:00

so like the night before last i was up in tension, i slept at 3 and after every few minutes i would wake up because of the tension that i had.

and you might ask me what was bothering me, well i was tense because i had to wake up early in the morning and get to a 10am meeting.... and the prospect of waking up early kept me awake all night in delusional sleep

so like there is another fear in my list now, fear of waking up early morning

unexpected smile

2007-08-20T12:03:00.000+05:00

and i was positively surprised today when i reached office. I knew they would have remembered my birthday but never did i imagine that they would bring on the party since morning instead of traditional evening cake cutting ceremony. so i reached my room to find baloons tied up to my chair , a number of presents and confetti , as i stepped in i was showered with it as well.

and then everyone was given a party hat and told to wear them, and i was handed a card from my team, a very interesting message in it

(click the card to read the mesasge)
im blessed to have such a great team, they are right, they have been through hell in trying to meet the deadlines and none has come to me complaining once

so there is a cake cutting to be done soon , and then im being asked for a treat,

so im sitting hunched a bit on my chair as the balloons are hitting my head , and so far i have not yet opened my inbox to start working , dont feel like it

so the cake was here,

the blue is food color which has made the inside of the mouth blue of everyone here, and then the ordered pizza came which was my treat. unexpectedly there were more than 30 ppl in office at that time, so even 6 large pizza vanished in like a split second

leave

2007-08-15T15:03:00.000+05:00

To
Headache
My head
127.0.0.1

Subject : Immediate Leave required

Dear Sir,

It is respectfully stated that since morning when you decided to grace my mind and let known your presence known throughout the backside of my head, i have been unable to perform my duties satisfactorily. The immense migraine created as a result of your arrival has rendered my mind useless for the most part. Every sound that i hear is magnified to the fullest and the hammering downstairs for construction work is making the situation worse.
I humbly request that i be granted leave of your presence for now so that i can have some peace of mind

yours obediently
mE
08/15/07

attachments: 2 Panadol Extra

Transformers

2007-08-12T23:13:00.000+05:00

And ppl told me this was good , but i waznt expecting it to be this good. AMAZING, must see. Ive already seen it twice, the first screening at sozo world with the youth festival including concert of Call the band and The Rising, i would say it was worth the wait , 16 months i waited for this movie to release , 16 since the time the movie was announced to the time i sat in a cinema to watch it.

So the next day i took my little cousins to DHA Cinema to watch it. and we entered the premises and i went down to the foyer to get coke and pop corns and there i ran into the very same girl which i mentioned in the previous post , plane girl lets say. so she was with the cousin she was staying with , introduced me to her " the guy i told you about , i met in the plane" and then her cousin dragged her into the cinema as the movie was starting and in like 30 secs or less the meeting ended. i thought i would catch her once the show is over. so in the middle of the movie i saw those two rush out of the cinema , and didn't return. so i think if i ran into her next time , the third time , i would definitely ask her contact details.

so anyhoo, transformers is a must watch, i cant wait for the collectors DVD edition to come out , definitely gonna own this one and add them beside my Lord of the Rings collection, it would be nice if this too has extended version of the movie , Lord of the rings had 30, 45 and 56 mins of extra footage in the three movies respectively.

So cant wait for them to announce 2nd installment of this.. now its The Dark Knight im waiting for, less than 11 months to go yeaay.

of travel n flights

2007-08-10T12:01:00.000+05:00

so like last night i traveled to isb , left office at 8pm, left home around 9:30ish and crossed the toll plaza on motorway around 10ish. reached isb around 2:30, went to scheme 3, chatted the 2 hours away before we all got up and went to the airport to see of my sister who be moving to canada, took us better of 3 hours and then i had a flight back to lahore to make it for a meeting i had herei nthe morning .
so being awake since previous day morning by the time i checked in i was sorta not in my senses , in 15 mins they announced the flight for the lahore i simply walked to the gate and there the guys says , this flight has not been announced yet. upon arguing it was revealed that i have been given a boarding pass to a karachi flight with someone having the same surname as me, rushed back to the counters, talked with the supervisor lady, she insisted i have karachi booking while holding my ticket in her hand , i have to point out , lady that is not my name, please look at my name and my booking number, then it dawned to her that they have made a blunder, she rushed a guy to unload my baggage from the khi flight , gave me a new boarding pass and i moved back through the security checks to the boarding, made it 2 mins before the flight departure time and then the flight was waiting for my lugage to come and we lost our window, next we had to wait 8 turns to get to our window at the runway again, it took pain stakingly long and i was almost dropping to sleep yet since the plane wqas atr turbo, elder brother of a focker the airconditioning was not yet fully bloomed untill the plane is in sky.

so right next to me was this girl who kept on flipping open her v3 and then closing it again, so i kinda leaned over and said , "excuse me, but should you not be turning the phone off? "
"i should should not i " was her reply and she turned it off.

so it was her first time in an ATR Turbo, she was telling someone on the phone when i first came to sit that "Its such a small plane". so i told her that these are the replacement for old focker planes "Thats not too encouraging" was the reply. So i told her that so dont turn on your phone because it is said that the mobile interferes with the navigation system of a plane, so its better we do not take chances on this small aircraft. Though she did open it up after 40 mins of constant complaints that she needs to turn it on always otherwise she gets uneasy.

so next 55 mins in air and landing were spent in talking about different topics, jokes, all in all good time, i pointed to her that shoaib akhtar was on the plane , when we got out we noticed what he was wearing , the guy looked dopped, was wearing a brown tshirt with black trousers and the trousers were see through, i dont know if anyone was turned on by seeing his semi visible legs and black underwear, oh horror, i might have nightmares now...

so i said goodbye to my co-traveler wishing her a good time in lahore for her short stay and somehow i thought asking her contact would have not been proper, so i didnt ask. went to office directly and by 12;30 is could barely open by eyes, so i spread a Janamaz on the floor behind my desk and closed my eyes, when i opened them it was 1:40, got up and then by 2:30 i was at the customer meeting trying to grasp my senses and stay awake

its 5pm now, and transformers is hitting the cinemas tonight, and im not gonna let sleep hinder in my way to see this moive, if only i can stay awake till 9pm

tired

2007-08-03T13:54:00.000+05:00

3rd day, i havent slept for more than 30 mins in a stretch. Cummulative sleep is 4 hours max in these 72 hours.

i jsut want to be able to sleep for a longer duration now, just a few hours, 2 would do for starters, i just cant seem to sleep, my eyes burn, yet when i lay my head down i just wont sleep.

ive always been a light sleeper, ever since when i was a kid i used to wake up on Ammi's first call, but this is getting out of hand, i dont believe in taking sleeping pills, it screws up your system, but repeat , this is getting out of hand now.

last night around 2am i had 101 fever, could not sleep, tried reading a book for an hour more but nothing helped, left bed and put in the new game my cousin brought in my xbox 360, played that for next 4 hours , it was 7am when i was tired enough to sleep a while, i dont even remember which level of the game i got to.

the night previous i found myself recovering my data from the crshed hardisk of my laptop, again with a fever to boot and the night previous to that was the big deadline that we missed, amazing how all the effort is invisible in front of just one mistake , but anyway, thats whater under the bridge.

my coughs better now, throats no longer sore, im not sneezing as much and the water works from my nose have decided to retreat for now.

and now tonight it would be 96 hours by 3am, i dont think i can sleep anyway before that time.

4 hours of combined sleep 4 days.

just for a few hours

2007-08-03T02:13:00.000+05:00

sleep, just let me sleep

duck

2007-08-01T01:42:00.001+05:00

One mistake nullifies all the effort

chapter one

2007-07-31T00:06:00.000+05:00

Pat was a unique kid, unique as everyone is unique in the world. Thus Pat was like any other kid in the neighborhood. When Pat was little he asked his father if he could get a pet dog.

"Getting a Dog is a huge responsibility Son" said his father

"Whats responsibility? " asked Pat.

"Well" said Pat , "Responsibility means taking care of the dog, Who will feed it ? "

"Isn't God suppose to provide food to all his living creatures? " asked Pat.

Pat got a dog the very next day.

He named the dog "Canine Assault Terrier", 'CAT' for short.

CAT was a good dog. Starvation killed CAT after a few days. Pat cried the day CAT died.

Seeing how upset Pat was, his father brought him a hamster in a small golden cage. There was a small wheel around which the hamster used to go round and round. and used to run up and down on the two story cage.

Pat named the hamster "Diagonal Orthogonal Gamer", 'DOG' for short.

Alas DOG also died by the hands (or teeth) of starvation

This was too much for Pat to take, he went over to his neighbors house and demanded salvation from Starvation. Pat's father called up animal control to report the incident and soon Starvation was laid to rest once it was confirmed that Starvation had indeed gone rabid.

Pat saw Lassie the next day at the animal cemetery. She was standing in front of Starvation's grave.

The tomb stone read "Here lies Starvation, May he not be hungry in the afterlife"

And it was then Pat decided to walk up to Lassie and talk to her.

"Hi" , he mumbled

"Hello", replied Lassie without taking her eyes off the grave.

"I'm Pat"

"Lassie".

"so ..em, he was your dog? " he asked

" No", she replied turning around and looking at Pat for first time, "Starvation was my wolf". she smiled

And Pat had never seen a smile so beautiful with eyes sparking from mischief.

Little did he know that it was this meeting with Lassie that would lead him to the path to a certain dragon. But the path comes later for now Pat was just lost within that amazing smile.

scream

2007-07-28T22:14:00.000+05:00

do you sometimes hear a scream and realize its you?

can you take me higher

2007-07-27T18:45:00.000+05:00

I'm still having troubles sleeping at night, and even bigger trouble waking up in the morning. I dont sleep good at nights and i cant sleep in day, so basically im screwed.

Im nocturnal, there was a time when i would have been awake all night and sleep only in the day, but that time was in my holidays after my fsc, and then there was a time when i would sleep just 28 hours in a day if given a chance, but that time is also long gone, that was the 4 years of my graduate studies. Then there was a time when i stayed awake 7 days in a row, again that time is also bygone it was the last week of my final year project submission. i still remember those coffee mugs, which started from 4 a day and ended at 15, but that is a story for another time.

And then there was another phase, where i slept for just 2 or 3 hours a day for months and months. This phase is not just a one time occurrence, i have been subjected to those time and again. And then there was a routine when my mind would feel sleepy when it sees 3am on the clock ticking away on the wall. Before 3am it would not be possible to atleast feel a tiny bit of sleep. But i would sleep peacefully afterwords.

and then there was a time when i was working in field where there would be long days which would stretch to 36 to 48 hours , where your travelling from site to site working meeting deadlines. But after your part of the work was done you would sleep. Sometimes in the car, or sometimes taking packing of equipment and sleeping on the floor. Sometimes we would sleep on site waiting for equipment , or connectivity or something similar before we can start the work. Never did we let pass any opportunity to sleep

and later on, there came a time when i no longer went to the field but instead sent others, in mornings you would make plans face customer and send guys to the field and do the job, and then at night you will be awake once more as the guys would be calling you up and informing the progress or problems, seeking advice on issues. And once a particular persons job was done , he would sleep, but not i, as there is always someone in the field keeping you awake.

Yet the one i mentioned on top above, not sleeping good isnt new, but not related to long gone past. I have been sleeping bad for the past 1 year now or perhaps more. I sleep when im exhausted utterly and then i wake up for work in the morning. yet this sleep is not sleep, there is no blissful blackout of the mind, there is no rest , my body still aches when i wake up, my eyes still burn. There is no time when my senses are lost, im aware when dark turns to light outside, when a car passes outside on the street, when ppl move around in the house downstairs. im asleep yet i am not.

i am tired. i want to sleep , where my mind dont know what is happening outside, when my body dont feel like its been dragged through the city.

Perhaps i should try taking up getting high or somethingy.....

RENAISSANCE Of iNsAnItY

update

Ironic

correction

time

dream

Happy Birthday

memories

should have known

of Kids, Dogs and Toys

Once upon a time

huh ?

return fire

atlaast

why

first

time to spin

resting in pain

noo

another milestone

another week start

Today

tomorrow

today

query

tacking it back slowly VERY VERY slowly

of eyes

why

feels like

a tag from Jummy Bear

slow

passed

dead as dead can be

ouch

so like

interesting

coming alive

engaged

Mawla ya Sali Wasalam

freedom

lost

convos

Chapter Two-1/2

teleport

domesticated

tags

movings and settings

packing

home

hectic

nostalgic

of traveling and resting

a tag

breath

hard rain

lunch

divine hints

rush

Recap

achivement

sync loss

was it

mundane words

Amen

nothing as it seems

inutile tidingses

time ?

7 weird facts

wings that get mE high

tell yourself

the one about tag

long week

M.I.A

sucks

Chapter Two

start

Purple Kurta

useless updates

weird dream

pillows