smile

There is a sadness in my smile, which only she could see. Only her eyes could tell that im crying when others believed i was laughing. Somewhere someone decided my eyes dont have enough water and had the clouds do the shedding. Its as if i was again standing in front of her grave, looking down as the dirt was being thrown in on top of her coffin, seperating us more. That feeling of loss, after all these years, it never leaves me. Sometimes i wonder how different my life would have been if i had her with me still. I close my eyes and she whispers in my ear. Her laughter still rings in the emptiness of my life, so long ago it used to light up my day. Its as if im again holding her hands while walking down that road, when i first asked her to walk with me. I look back and i can see our foot prints behind us, never erased even after all these years.

Looking back, is when i smile and there is a sadnesss in my smile...............