update

So i decided that since im home for past 2-1/2 months lets try to get that Xbox up and running again, found out that my 110v power supply is burnt as someone plugged it in directly on 220v, so had to get it changed, then the DVD drive was not working , had to get that fixed as well, and some small updates all in all after spending something around the range of ~$150 and buying some additional games i was now ready to play.

And then i accepted an offer from a place where i start coming Monday, so office from Monday. I wonder what life is trying to tell me....

Ironic

Its really Ironic, My "wish" to get more time to play was "Granted" by downsizing yet i still do not get time to play with all the job hunting i do all day long.

I would rather not play the game at all i think

correction

Dear God,

When i said i wish i had more time to play my xbox, i did not mean to be laid-off.

Oh well... too late

time

so once upon a time there was a small white box, a bit rectangular with roundish crooked edges and a X mark on the front side with wires coming out fro the back. That particular box had given me company in many a nights , be it rainy or hot summer nights. The many hours i spent with the box are beyond count.

Yet with all the closeness once i had with that item, i haven't seen a glimpse of it once let alone touch it with my had , to feel its warmth , its soft hum , even those dreadful , dreadful red blinking lights on the "X" .

And now that gears of war 3 is out i wish i have time to play my xbox once again :(

memories

re-reading "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy , a trilogy in Four parts " once AGAIN

should have known

of Kids, Dogs and Toys

Its not easy being a father of a highly hyper energetic almost 2 year old (who reached her terrible Two's few months too early) kid. Lately she has decided to make matters more interesting by cutting down on her sleep just so that she gets up at 6am and does not sleep till 9 or 10 pm.

And when she wakes up, she sits up tilts her head and call me in a very cute soft and music-y flowing voice "baabaa". and repeats till i open my eyes to look at her tilted head, mischievous smile, twinkling eyes and the way she holds her "blanky" in between her hands with her thumb going occasionally in her mouth. Its then when she announces "babaa uth gaey hain".

No matter how much i protest and try to persuade her that she misunderstood my opening my eys and that im very much sleeping still and would not be awake for another couple of hours, she does not believe a word i say and then i am asked to pick her up , put her shoes on and take her outside " outside Jana HAI!!!". If i still refuse to be up, she would hop over her mom and come sit on my chest and start jumping.

Im sure reading the above sounds as cute and adorable as i felt when this happened for the first time , but after a few months its begining to take its toll, and now when she wakes up in the morning i pick her up and put her down the bed with a toy or a book so sometimes she does not bother us for a few more minutes.

Apart from that , she is one hell of an intellegent child , she will be 2 years old next month , she knows majority of nursery rhymes by heart from the age of 1 year 2 months, can sing all of the abc , knows counting from 1 to 10, can recite all 7 days of the week , she can tell you there are 4 seasons and their names , speaks very clearly and has been speaking full sentences since she was 1-1/2 year old, all this and a lot more.

Lately she has started making sad faces and saying " Baba ajj office na jain" , "Babaa ajj gym naheen ". Breaks one's heart !

Currently she is in love with a small 4 legged thingy which brings us to the second point of our titles. Meet "Benji" ,







this is when Benji was a 1 month old Belgium Sheppard. He is now 3 months and a whole lot bigger his "baby fat" is almost gone now an starting to look a bit scary-ish yet he still cries like a small baby when you lock him up in his cage and walk away. All the time i hear my child telling me "Babaa , baby ro raha hai". Now its only on weekends that i see him , but she goes to feed him every day without fail.

And i got myself a new toy as well, finally got around to buying a new DSLR for myself , its been 3 months since i have been a proud owner of a Nikon D7000 , yet i have been unable to actually play with it. The above 2 (plus wife ofcourse) keep me enough busy to not be able to spend time. Plan to spend some this coming weekend when my parents will be here and my kid will be busy commanding her grandparents.

Once upon a time

There lived a very pious and God fearing man who taught to others around him the way of peace and kindness, the path of righteousness and the road to salvation. He was not a young man nor was he particularly old yet he had a very young son who was just 3 years old.

Now the man was respected in all the town and was known to give the right advise to anyone in need. He had a very big following and on each evening after the prayers he would held sermons in his garden which were attended by young and old from all around the town. In his sermons the wise , pious man would bestow upon the masses useful everyday guidelines on how to lead a life with which God will be pleased.

During his sermons his young son would also be present in his fathers lap and would play around in his childish mischievous ways. The son was apple of his eye and the wise man never refused to let the child from tugging his beard or from throwing the cushions on the floor. All the town also loved the child for the playfulness he would bring during the long sermons. The child , even though just 3 years old, was extremely naughty and intelligent who knew he can get away with most of his pranks and would exploit the love and kindness of his father, but in innocent ways of a child.

One fine evening the pious man had just finished his prayers and the crowd had gathered and was patiently waiting for the sermon to start when the young son suddenly appeared caked in mud and ran towards his father laughing with mischief in his eyes. The pious man quickly get off his prayer mat and tried to gather the child in his arms , the child was too slippery from the mud and was able to wriggle free from his fathers grip and ran towards the prayer area. The pious man once more lunged for the kid and at the same time shouted to his man-servant "Jaldi Janamaz to morr do warna shaitan charr jaey ga" (translation : Hurry fold the prayer mat or the devil will get on it).

After this the man was successfully able to catch his son and took him inside and the sermon was canceled for the day. The only guideline the crowd got from the days sermon was regarding the folding of the mat.

That is the reason that to this very day we still are told to fold the prayer mat whenever we are done praying of the "shaitan" will get on it.

huh ?

a lot of times nowadays im wondering whatever happened to mE ? i have totally lost all / any interest in my work ( if i ever had any to begin with that is ), still i go home late at night even later than what i used to go when the work load was brutal, my sheesha intake has increased , but alternatively my tv shows viewing has dramatically been cut short, i never did even finish heroes , left it in mid episode last year and never got around to complete it , nor do i feel inclided to doing so. am not in contact with my friends. Its like im slowly fadding away.

i dont remember any day in past 4 or 5 weeks where i have really worked in office , i have done all the tasks required or necesasry to do in the timeframe but the passion or spirit is not there , this is just a thing i need to do and thats it , pays the bills .

i started making a resume which i never completed, one day will get around to do that , started GMAT and even gave it once and had to give it again m, but so far dont feel like picking up the books again and do it. Im just living in right now, right here , no plans no nothing for whats to come.

even starting this post its taken me quite many days to get to this point , i dont feel like finishing it , nor i have any clue as to what would the finished post look like. I guess it would be poetic justice if i just leave it off in mid sentence and not even post it, but lets click this publish post button now before i get bored to even bother doing that....

return fire

back to office back to war

atlaast

So like my phone is on its way...

Tracking shipment through DHL online tracker gets soo boring , why does the parcell stay at one checkpoint thatlong

why

why does it NOT accept my credt card, stufid website, i want my phone

resting in pain

had emergency surgery for non-reducible para umbilical hernia

that after a hectic italian holiday trip, guess wanted to get some rest after all.

noo

yes

another milestone

so there has been another milestone in my life. I am a proud father of beautiful baby girl.

Though dealing with Postpartum depression is harder than i had thought earlier. Everything is fine Alhamdilillah.

And it seems as if my work was also waiting for the moment i become a father t go on a tangent from peace towards hell

Anyway, i have been blessed, like i have been given a chance to absolve from all the mistakes i have made in life.

another week start

why is it so hard to find the books i want to read here in this country, its almost as no one else reads this stuff and im the only one who is looking for them, in stores and old book shops all over the city.

Its at times like these when i have a book with a first part and no third or fourth or then i have the third or fourth but no 1st when i kind of wish i can open up a book store , with a nice coffee shop inside ( wifi and all, no sheesha inside the shop but it can be presented outside or in a separate enclosure ).

For me it would purely be a fiction/sci-fi/ fantasy books only, it would be nice to have everything categorized and arranged in a nice manner . so many of these old book shops lack just this one item otherwise they have such nice collections but one cannot be expected to be able to go through them all to find what one needs.

in another news , yesterday being a sunday , i decided not to pick any work calls, got a call from my manager while i was out doing bbq at pirsohawa in the rain , did not return his call. So far havent heard back from him, this being mid of day monday, which is highly unlike him not to call every 2 or 3 hours if he aint in city.

Well, a bi of slow work today, lets see how the day progresses later

I do hate monday's still

Today

so like , i know i was suppose to work today, but kinda i am and have worked but still, not feeling upto the mark, There was suppose to be a meeting starting 10:30 in the morning but due to situation in Khi , my manager could not could not fly out form there , yet he is still talking about meeting today later , so i assume he is going to come somewhere on another flight and we still will need to go for a meeting , and i will still need to get this presentation done.

Today, i will work, hopefully

tomorrow

tomorrow i will work , dil laga key.

Honest

today

so we are back on Dhaka Standard time, Daylight Saving once more, welcome to the confused next few weeks if not months , there would once again be debates of the ral time vs the fake time and the pathans would once more out rightly refuse to change their clocks and move on Pathan Standard time.

Apart from that, i am feeling extremely lethargic today towards work, i have noooooooooooo mood of working. there is a conference call on going which i am suppose to be giving my ideas to others who are talking for past 30 mins but i dont feel like enlightening them that the topic they are discussing has already been completed by us last week.

in another news, a guy who was from my team, now left to go work in KSA, has risen to standup comedy spotlight , he is now doing shows with Ahmed Ahmed and Jeff Mirza, and he is quite funny from the clip i saw of his performance in Riyadh. Never knew he had the talent when he was in office.


in yet another news, my mind just went blank after attending the 3rd conference call, after that we have yet another call on the financial targets achived to date and forecasted ones, which i am totally not looking forward to. i better close this post and go try to get my mind on work

tacking it back slowly VERY VERY slowly

so like past few months ive been kinda vanished from my usual life or from my life used to be , aint talking the change in life after marriage, i was / is a big change but still i had some of it going on for me on the old rate.

what im talking about is the work life, its been getting extremely tough the past 2 months specially. Its true the higher up you go the more harder it gets, i remember what i used to think when i was the field engineer traveling for work every day and even some nights and sometimes being in the field for over 2 weeks and thinking , man what an easy life my management has, just check email and make us do all the work.

7 years down the line, well i would gladly go back to not having all the responsibility, provided i get to keep the current salary though. Anyway, so point being now its much much much more to look after, its a whole new thinking hat im wearing and not much of appreciation as compared to the tension and tiredness. Funny how i mention tension, as im one of the guys who is known all around the company as having a completely chilled out relax attitude no matter how much it gets worse. I must admit i have been having a hard time cutting of work from routine life. I used to have such a nice ability to switch off work when i went out of office now things keep floating around in my mind.

Recently ive decided to take my life back from work. Have been catching up on all my tv series slowly. Have been reading the books i wanted to and even went book hunting on all old book shops of Islamabad, visited 8 of them and got around 8 books in total.

So now im going to take my life back from evil clutches of work. slowly ever so slowly