time to spin

and she is now more than 7 months old, still cant sit nor does she plans to rollover , she is content as she is when laying down facing up or facing down, not bothered to change her position unless she wants to. So let her enjoy the time as much as she wants of doing nothing , for later in life she will have lots and lots to do but for now she can just relax.

its amazing how fast all this time is going away, when i look at her pictures of each month i see the difference in her growth that otherwise i cannot see, i see the growth of hair more than anything else in those pictures if placed side by side. the most innocent expressions i have ever seen and yet in the past few months a light has been illuminated behind her eyes promising that she would be one extremly mischvious kid (as her father was, mother too but intensity level was lower by a mile).

and at times i feel the time is going too fast and i will miss her stage by being in office or working or not paying attention to her and later i will lament all i want but this time would not come back .

i think if i rotate on the ani clockwise very fast i can counter the moving of earth and slow time down, but like if i am the one spinning , how would i benefit from the slowed time ??

resting in pain

had emergency surgery for non-reducible para umbilical hernia

that after a hectic italian holiday trip, guess wanted to get some rest after all.

noo

yes

another milestone

so there has been another milestone in my life. I am a proud father of beautiful baby girl.

Though dealing with Postpartum depression is harder than i had thought earlier. Everything is fine Alhamdilillah.

And it seems as if my work was also waiting for the moment i become a father t go on a tangent from peace towards hell

Anyway, i have been blessed, like i have been given a chance to absolve from all the mistakes i have made in life.

another week start

why is it so hard to find the books i want to read here in this country, its almost as no one else reads this stuff and im the only one who is looking for them, in stores and old book shops all over the city.

Its at times like these when i have a book with a first part and no third or fourth or then i have the third or fourth but no 1st when i kind of wish i can open up a book store , with a nice coffee shop inside ( wifi and all, no sheesha inside the shop but it can be presented outside or in a separate enclosure ).

For me it would purely be a fiction/sci-fi/ fantasy books only, it would be nice to have everything categorized and arranged in a nice manner . so many of these old book shops lack just this one item otherwise they have such nice collections but one cannot be expected to be able to go through them all to find what one needs.

in another news , yesterday being a sunday , i decided not to pick any work calls, got a call from my manager while i was out doing bbq at pirsohawa in the rain , did not return his call. So far havent heard back from him, this being mid of day monday, which is highly unlike him not to call every 2 or 3 hours if he aint in city.

Well, a bi of slow work today, lets see how the day progresses later

I do hate monday's still

Today

so like , i know i was suppose to work today, but kinda i am and have worked but still, not feeling upto the mark, There was suppose to be a meeting starting 10:30 in the morning but due to situation in Khi , my manager could not could not fly out form there , yet he is still talking about meeting today later , so i assume he is going to come somewhere on another flight and we still will need to go for a meeting , and i will still need to get this presentation done.

Today, i will work, hopefully

tomorrow

tomorrow i will work , dil laga key.

Honest

today

so we are back on Dhaka Standard time, Daylight Saving once more, welcome to the confused next few weeks if not months , there would once again be debates of the ral time vs the fake time and the pathans would once more out rightly refuse to change their clocks and move on Pathan Standard time.

Apart from that, i am feeling extremely lethargic today towards work, i have noooooooooooo mood of working. there is a conference call on going which i am suppose to be giving my ideas to others who are talking for past 30 mins but i dont feel like enlightening them that the topic they are discussing has already been completed by us last week.

in another news, a guy who was from my team, now left to go work in KSA, has risen to standup comedy spotlight , he is now doing shows with Ahmed Ahmed and Jeff Mirza, and he is quite funny from the clip i saw of his performance in Riyadh. Never knew he had the talent when he was in office.


in yet another news, my mind just went blank after attending the 3rd conference call, after that we have yet another call on the financial targets achived to date and forecasted ones, which i am totally not looking forward to. i better close this post and go try to get my mind on work

query

i dont know what is worse ,

a customer who knows no standards of project management
or
a manager who knows but does not follow them

tacking it back slowly VERY VERY slowly

so like past few months ive been kinda vanished from my usual life or from my life used to be , aint talking the change in life after marriage, i was / is a big change but still i had some of it going on for me on the old rate.

what im talking about is the work life, its been getting extremely tough the past 2 months specially. Its true the higher up you go the more harder it gets, i remember what i used to think when i was the field engineer traveling for work every day and even some nights and sometimes being in the field for over 2 weeks and thinking , man what an easy life my management has, just check email and make us do all the work.

7 years down the line, well i would gladly go back to not having all the responsibility, provided i get to keep the current salary though. Anyway, so point being now its much much much more to look after, its a whole new thinking hat im wearing and not much of appreciation as compared to the tension and tiredness. Funny how i mention tension, as im one of the guys who is known all around the company as having a completely chilled out relax attitude no matter how much it gets worse. I must admit i have been having a hard time cutting of work from routine life. I used to have such a nice ability to switch off work when i went out of office now things keep floating around in my mind.

Recently ive decided to take my life back from work. Have been catching up on all my tv series slowly. Have been reading the books i wanted to and even went book hunting on all old book shops of Islamabad, visited 8 of them and got around 8 books in total.

So now im going to take my life back from evil clutches of work. slowly ever so slowly

of eyes

so now i have a limited field of vision. There are semi transparent edges which im sure one gets used to the longer they wear the glasses.
Had been feeling the need to get my eyes tested for a long time turns out i was right. The first time the glasses came i could not see from the right eye it was all blurred , turns out the maker had changed the axis from 75 to 95 , for my benefit im sure. So since yesterday after getting it fixed i can see much clearly. The idea now is to try to get used to having seeing only from the rectanfular frame.

why

why do the have offical dinners where there is no sheesha ?

feels like

i like the feels like part of the weather forecast.

Weather is 2 celcius
feels like -3 celcius

the light snow fall with heavy rain was beautiful at 7am from the hotel window.

tomorrow it promises to be 6 celcius only ( with a feels like tag of -6 only ).

a tag from Jummy Bear

So since I'm waiting for my manager to arrive and we start the long meetings i guess i will do the tag from Jummy Bear or i should name her Meow or somethingy now. Somehow i cant imagine a Bear saying Meow though. 

So 16 Random things about myself. 

And i have been staring at this for a while now trying to come up with stuff random enough to be random 

another 30 mins have passed but to be honest i wasn't looking here, was signing some things so , now lets see if i can crack this 

1- A geek at heart. shouldn't come as a surprise to those who know me. 

2- Was a destructive child, mostly for my own toys, liked to open them up to see what was inside or how they break when thrown from the roof down to the lawn. ( specially glass things , different heights , different force etc etc ). I found that a round glass when thrown at a certain height at a certain angle will bounce back up half the height of the fall and you have one chance to catch it , if you miss the glass will break. 

3- the most important page on a newspaper is the comics one. I would be happy if it was only that page that came each day only. 

4- Someday i will create a time suspension technology so i will have time to read / watch  / Play things i want.  There are books i never get my hands on but they are on the list , there are things i never watched but i want to some day.  i Have loads of games i never finished nor will ever finish i think but i buy them still and put them down. Some are those i just played once others never 

5-  Awkward silences are part of my first (second , third , fourth , .... so on ) meetings with anyone. 

6-  i am a very casual shopper, i buy things at whim, my wife is thankfully not like me.  

7-  there is not enough time in the day to sleep all the sleep i need

8- the new office extension i have used to be of the kitchen, the prank i used to play while being in kitchen was i would pick up and claim it was my number, now i have to do that same thing each day number of times without it being a prank. 

9- i hate giving presentations. Seems each passing year my responsibilities in presenting more and more stuff is increasing. 

10- when im cold i take a shower. my family says i sterilize not shower. 

11- Im a theory Y manager whose manager is Theory X. 

12- Im trying to keep my desktop free of unwanted clutter, but somehow it keeps on growing till i put them all in a folder and dump them in c:\Desktop Junk, many a times very important files are lost  (read misplaced ) that way. 

13-  i have 36 pairs of socks. 20 blacks.  rest shades of brown / blue. And somehow they keep on vanishing and reappearing on their own. 

14-  i kill shoes in 8 months or less , as in formal shoes

15-  i wish i had known some cool math tricks when i was a kid , would have saved loads of time.

16- i love rain, night rain to be exact. The heavier it is , and the colder it is , the better, 

so there, 16 random things , i think they are random dont you ? 

So next step to tag 16 ppl, lets see, Hemlock you be it, Soaring Angel, Tanzilla,  thts the ppl i know who would somehow read this blog still  apart from the one who tagged mE in the first place,  for the rest if anyone stumbles here , will you be bored enough to tag and leave a comment telling you are done ? lets see if random ppl can be utilized this way. 

Or if the random person is not a silent observer ONLY then we would never know would we ? 

So be it..........

slow

its a slow day today, like after soooooooo many months , ever since marrige i have not had a slow day at work , its always one thing or the other going on and today i find myself with not a single thing to work on .

i have to go meet the manager in a while , dont feel like doing it, i watched big bang theory , now i think i might watch the new episode of how i met your mother, now im just passing time moving here and there on some websites ,

my hotmail inbox has huge pile of unread email, it would mostly be forwarded mails or from mailists so next task is to get up to date on that.

Seems strange not to have to study anymroe , past one month i was constantly studying in anytime i got in between work, now there kinda sort of a void present in its place, i need to go to a book store as well to get somethingy to read, i wish borders was here in pakistan.

To top it all of tomorrow i a holiday and i dont have cable at home installed yet. I planned the cable to be there once my exam was over but it kinda got delayed as the fibre guys wanted to dig out the front lawn and since i dont own the house i could not give a go ahead, after a week of bac and forth a mid ground was achived and they have yet to complete there work , they gave me a date of 2 days yesterday and tomorrow is a holiday so i dont think i would be getting any cable till firday.

I would be seting up my xbox today though, or atleast i think i would , i have been buying games to play as in i have all the current titles i would like to play but have yet to ge time to sit down alone to do so. Marrige does limit ones options in ways more than one.

passed

passed my exam today, big relief

was relatively easy as to what i was expecting

dead as dead can be

even with wanting to do stuff one dont get to do it , but in my case i dont get to do it because i dont feel like doing things.

I believe i have gone lazier since i got married, as usual closing year and new year constitutes tough working days.

On top of it i Finlay got around my reluctance to study and had gotten a date for my pmp exam, which was supposed to be this coming Monday, so tough working days and then tougher studying after all this time plus i was never one to memorize stuff, thus my history of scoring low in all subjects which require lessons to be memorized and written as is.

So all in all i was progressing at a pace which i believe i would have made it for the exam prep in time when work went on exponential curve and then the home problems started occurring. Not domestic but water and gas and security issues. so we decided to shift home and move.

So in all the late night workings i decided to move my exam another week, so right now its scheduled for 2nd of feb.

We shifted like 3 days ago, Saturday to be precise and the house is slowly coming around. work has gone slow again.

We kidnapped a small young blue parrot from my wife's father who currently sits in a cage in our lounge in front of the radiator. When the radiator is off the poor thing starts shivering. Not adjusting to weather here , supposed to be from some other country. Last 2 days ive been trying to get it used to my hands and it has started eating oranges from my hand and sun flower seeds. Last night it didnt run away from my finger touching it not did it try to snap at it , so i believe we are making good progress.

so to get back to the point where i started this post , being lazy has definitely been my signature quality among siblings since early age but now a days i feel more inclined not to do anythingy. Low motivation on work front has also arise and on personal note , i dont feel like having sheesha anymore either, yes that is a big thingy.

on giving this post another look i see there is not much of a centralized theme to it or a point. So i would end this here now.

i guess what it signifies is that this Blog is not yet truly dead, coma perhaps

(cold and catatonic.......... )