today i cried tears of blood
no one saw the rising flood
today i tried to get free
no one came to save me
today i hid within my soul
no one knew my heart aint whole
today i left behind my past
no one welcomed an outcast
today i breath my last breath
no one knew that i was dead
today i died in my dreams
no one heard my silent screams
yes another friday evening, and im here sitting and looking at time displayed on my screen, almost 5pm it says , in an hour i will be chairing a conference call, an hour from that i would be free , just 2 more hours, damn im sleepy
5:30pm, my table starts vibrating, its a call, numbers unknown to mE
mE : "hello "
girl : " hi, im speaking in refrence from your friend , he told me you were thinking of selling your camera , the D50"
mE : " oh yea, i am thinking of buying D200 and sell my D50 "
girl : " so how much is your demand "
mE : " hmm havent decided really, dont know, never thought about how much i would sell it for "
girl : " so you would ask how much? "
mE : " lets ask how much your willing to give ? "
girl : " oh well i went and saw a D70 second hand in market for 17k so like how about i offer you 15k ?"
mE : "15?"
girl : " yes 15"
mE " err"
silence
girl : "i am doing photography majors, your camera would be used well "
silence
mE : " kinda , i have a 18-200mm lens on it as well, "
girl : " thats nice, so you gona give the lense ? "
mE : " Well , kinda the lens itself is around 18k on its own "
girl : " oh"
silence
mE : " err "
silence again
mE : " i think i would let you know if i decide to sell at that price, lemme think about it "
girl : " oh ok"
mE : " i would not be selling the lens"
girl : " oh ok"
mE : " err , take care then, bye "
girl : "bye"
6:oopm, conference call time, huh ? wait a sec, who the heck took the landline speaker phone from my desk????
6:15pm, "Hi everyone , sorry for joining late, we had some technical difficulties in joining the call " ( someone took the bloody phone and i had to search for 15 mins to find the culprit)
7:00 " Thanks for joining the call, are there any questions at this time ? "
silence
"if no.." , intruption " oh i have a question, will you be joining the shipments status call in half an hour , we need to ask a few questions from you"
mE : " yes sure i would be joining " ( ofcourse i was NOT thinking of running away no i was not )
and now im looking at the time again, it says 9pm, i was supposed to be free an hour ago, darn these firday evenings
12:46am .... can someone tell me what im doing in office still ?
and looks like someone took the topic of last post to heart upthere and tried to grant me my request. So who ever it was, dont take things seriously on this page...do not forget the post label on it please....
so the day started with me dragging myself out of bed to get ready and get to a meeting at 11, called my driver at 10 , who arrived at 10:45 and we left to office, and as soon as we were on the main road i saw the truck in front of me approach at alarmingly high speed as we banged into it.
the next thingy i knew was that i had my head ringing from hiting the windscreen and there was a acute pain in my neck, the bonet had folded on itself and schumacher was scratching his head in disbelief on the driver seat as i was holding mine in both hands to make sure i had it on still. (teaches me to trying to tie a knot in my tie without a seat belt).
so thus mr schumacher ( he is really called that by our forigen expats who refuse to travel with him ), got out and started staring in disbelif at his handy work because apparently in his attempt to overtake the car next to us and not letting it get ahead of us, he somehow managed to overlook a tiny detail, which was a truck motionless right in front with its brake lights on ( yes seriously a truck with brake lights on in day time, like how abnormal is that, i should have known the omens were not right by just looking at that in the first place).
so by the time the other called came to pic me up, i was about to sleep, and then when i reached office , it was revealed that the meeting was on hold because they were waiting for me to arrive , how toughtful, like really, comeon , get over with the meeting already but noooooo they were kind enough to wait.
and after a 2 hour meeting , i think im begining to have a headache and its just 2.... long day ahead.
P.S schumacher is currently at the rental office getting a replacement car so that he can drop me home in the evening
and here again i find myself sitting on my desk and figthing off sleep, 10am is too early to wake up specially when you slept at 6am. I had blood shot eyes for 2 hours after waking up.
dont you just hate working on a friday evening, knowing that after these cursed few hours you will be freee, freeeeeeeeeeeeeee for the next 2 days when you can sleep till 3pm and you wont have like 20 missed calls and around 30+ texts asking where the heck were you.
and its time like these when you really want to strangle few ppl when they insist on having a meeting on a friday evening, and then there are those who call you up to tell you that they got delayed coming to city due to rain and will be an hour late so the meeting would be shifted from 6 to 7pm. LIKE SERIOUSLY??? are you kidding me ? sadly they arent. And then there are the damned conference calls, like helloooo its 10pm here at my side when you decide to wake up at your part of the world and check your emails.
just few more hours and i can go home and sleep, but i know when i go home i wont be able to sleep, cause i start waking up by 6pm and by 9 im fully awake.
i didnt use to be like this, i still remember a time when i would sleep early, around 1am or 2am, not just a year ago, i would make to office even on 9am meetings then, i dont remember the exact time when its started going haywired, now i cant sleep at all until exhaustion takes me, be it 5 or 6 am, its amazing how far you shatter in such a small time and little you recover in such a long time
did i mention i hate fridays ? and mondays and tuesdays and wendenesdays and thursdays
i hate mornings, i hate waking up in the morning, i would rather not sleep the whole night to be at a 10am meeting, who the heck decides to have the meeting at 10am? like really ? dont they sleep ? like seriously. i think i can make 11am at times.
the whole 9 to 5 system is flawed, nothingy gets done before 12 anyway, no matter what you do, there would be chit chat breaks and coffee breaks and blah blah and serious work would not start till 12. so why not change, 12 to 8 is the best office timings, like imagine you get to office by 12, start work, and since we usually sit in office by 9 or 10 anyway regardless you started at 10 or 12 in the morning.
And then you go home spend time with family, go out eat , enjoy. you have till 3am to do that, imagine the increased productivity each day.
there is still time to mend the vicious cycle of 9 to 5.
Somethings are not ment to be, and we pursue them till we miss other things in life that we could have achived and maybe we would have been living some different life. The things we run after sooner or later run away from us.
follow me now to a past filled with emptyness and a present empty of fulfillments.
We at times get the things we wanted, yet when we have them in hand we find out that it has lost the meaning for which we wanted it in the first place. That now our priorities have changed or there is no one standing next to me whom i wanted to show this thing at a given time.
follow me now to a heart devoid of feelings and of feelings gone numb.
We make so many plans for a future we wish for, so confident so proud of our achivements so sure of our plans. Yet the road we walk at times vanish from beneath our feet and we fall, we fall.
follow me now to a place built on sorrow yet a place of no regrets
I have no regrets, i would never sit and wonder what if.. and i would do all this again if given a chance, ALL again
