marbles

like when i was little i was playing marbles with some friends , i never knew how to play real marbles, they were just small shiny unbreakable glass balls which i would throw down the stairs and they would bounce down on each step and i would smile in glee and no matter how many times i would need to go down and climb back up to throw them again, i would not get tired

somewhere down the road and growing up a bit , i lost my marbles...

with my marbles gone, the drive to run back up again to try once more also was misplaced, and it never occured to me that missing marlbes is not a good thingy, it might be that i thought my marbles dont count in the long run, or that i never saw anyone with marlbes around me after a certain age, perhaps marbles were just a thing of the past and all things come to end so that was the end of my marbles for then

but as life progressed, entering my adolescent , i saw some kids around a few years bigger than me playing marbles, it wasnt the game i played on the step, or rolling them around and pretending they were hurdles to my dinkys, it was a much fierce game, where winner takes the marbles of the loser, and winner was the one who kicked out the marbles of the other from a certain circle at a certain distance, supposidly there was skill required in throwing your marbles, thus it was a quest to gain the others marbles, so i thought perhaps marbles are not that redundant after all in life, like here we have ppl contesting for marbles, maybe marbles were of some use after all

i tried playing the game, but in the end i lost my marbles again...

for a long time afterwords i never saw a marbles let alone my own marbles, then one day i found my old marbles from a box when i was packing away my old toys, and i took my marbles in my hand and sat down to examine what my marbles made of , there was an interesting design live flowing lava inside the glass ball and i just held it close to my eye to find how come they dont have any hole when they put that little design inside the glass ball, then i carefully put away my marbles after not being able to find any clue as to how they were made

contesting for marbles or thorwing them down and retreviing them again became a thing of the past, a past long forgotten, buried within the dirt of memories, life became compilcated with each turn, attention become diverted in multitude of directions and the simplicity of the marbles was lost, perhaps marbles were important

for now, its raining outside heavily , dark invisible droplets falling out of the sky, somehow if i tilt my head and look between my half closed eyes they resemble marbles, millions of tiny soft marbles falling everywhere, seems i have not really lost all my marbles after all , maybe there are no marbles , just raindrops